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-   -   Racism (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=43958)

Artikqlit 05-05-03 01:33 AM

Racism
 
Quick...10 min freestyle (10 bars)

Alotta timez peeps mistake racism for whites juss hatin on blacks//
but if a kracka's dressed ghetto…they're wearin tha rong slacks?//
Racism iz on both sidez…not juss tha known frat//
Started wit tha whites nd tha colors striked back//
Ion see why we can't accept a person fo who they exact//
As a country, we needa elap, formin 1 undefeatable tap//(clique/crew)
Government ensured us of racial equality…still nothin like that//
Them assclowns fucked us over again…we got 'bitch slapped'//
but that's not tha point…blacks n whites should learn ta live togetha//
In this world it rains, snows n hails…Togetha = no matta tha weatha//

Btw, i'm black...
Gimme some feedback plz
-Thanks

tRiLL 05-05-03 02:28 AM

well good topic wack rhyme

Artikqlit 05-05-03 02:34 AM

iight...we'll see wut others think

Tonya~Montana 05-05-03 02:45 AM

you know thats was a nice rhyme to me...it was'nt that deep but you got ya point across.... I feel it....

OpTiX 05-05-03 02:46 AM

Wasnt too bad but it will make you a better rapper to rhyme by syllabals instead of shit that just sounds nice.

Artikqlit 05-05-03 02:49 AM

iight..Thanks fa the feedback nd tha advice

Johnny 6-feet 05-05-03 08:49 AM

good topic, which is the most important aspect of writing rhymes. but in terms of lyrical content and length it needs improving.

WORD~PERFECT 05-05-03 08:56 AM

flow there
topic there
content loacked but was worth reading

Enigmatic 05-05-03 09:17 AM

.It's O.k..
 
This joint was o.k., a little basic on the vocabulary. Like man before me said, it's a good topic. Just work on your vocab. Make a little longer too...

NH 05-05-03 09:29 AM

coo' drop fam

what u said was true just thro some multies in there next time man ;) u know we got this on lock

Artikqlit 05-05-03 07:13 PM

Thanks peepz..this wuz just a 10 min key i wrote in science class...it wuz meant ta be "short"

Artikqlit 05-05-03 09:13 PM

uppin..want more feedback

OneShotHit 05-06-03 10:01 PM

that shit was weak....and BTW..... im black 2

Artikqlit 05-07-03 12:39 AM

Yea ok...

Bash 05-07-03 12:58 AM

Wasnt feelin this drop ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i seen u do better legend , , ,oh yeah i kno why this drop is whack , , because it was a 10min key


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