CriTiC vs SUPERVILLAIN
 

:Topical Battle Rules:

*Topic Trapped*

15 ~ UNLIMITED Lines
No ~ Crew Votes
No ~ Recycling
No ~ Biting

Minimum posts to vote: 500

Check in by: 11-25-04 at 03:01 PM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.

CriTiC has ACCEPTED this battle on 11-22-04 03:02 PM.

SUPERVILLAIN has ACCEPTED this battle on 11-22-04 03:05 PM.

CRHYME SINDICATE vs. MIND OVER BODY
Topical : Trapped


“The Grand Rap Trap”

welcome to the music business…

deep n my soul I got da hunger for mo after eatin cats at a house party show
if da cash flo reflects my success then of course I need it, I must hav dat doe
makes no sense 2 say no, shit no, cents is pesos, enuf gathered is a payroll
since im tryna get a big say-so, I need 2 be greedy and start a bankroll
flip it…come bak then make loans, gain sum take home n stay paid full
rather then b a victim of circumstance trapped, ima b da one 2 take souls
industry vamps suk harts dry n even leev bone marrow siphoned
being narrow minded… theres no chance of hope n no way 2 find it
paradise can b leased 4 a price, all dat island sunlite can leev u blinded
but my sight?...my vision?...ill try 2 defy it! im on point like an arrow guided
if ever n a denero crisis, im ai-ite goin bak 2 da neighborhood dat i lived
chillin at home with a wife, kids, the white fence...the private life shit
ive ben told those used 2 holdin c-notes wont return 2 dem streets broke
instead they sell their souls for hot singles, loose ho's and lots of c- oke
not everything can be controlled, one can only play the hand u hold
trust me i know...yo...we all believe that we wont be the ones to fold
dont b lured by da money, da dames, da druggies, dope buggies or fame
they’re all priveledges and perks...but this job is work and its all a game
r u willing 2 play? theres alliances n broken ties, triumf and hopeless times
dyin and growth of life, all suplied if ya signin, autografin thos dotted lines
ask da best...success n excess leads to unrest…and much stress 2 depress
mo money, mo problems...often no funding or solvin so we robbn wit teks
more often then not today, the main vets trade respect for paychecks
they drained payments, now these brain deads sank depths over great debts
should’ve paid less for the gray lex., eight ‘vettes and gay plane/jet
its insane that bank comes and goes quick enough to maim n break necks
its safe 2 say the only way to escape is to fail…or do a child porno tape
retire early…or die in a hail of bullets…formally our normal fate
whatever the case, we were born irate, so however high the stakes…
ima wait n reign as da great, ‘till dat new face comes and takes my place
watch ya neck n expect da same, protect ya space n just respect da game
stay awake, this is a dangerous trade but dont reflect just da danger n rage
it’s a tricky game, traps r laid at all times, only da fit survive, go decide
if its worth da risk, go along 4 da ride, jus buckle up n keep ur arms inside

…and wait that muhfucka out…whatchu got 2 lose……its only ur life???…


…supervillain of the crhyme sindicate…

I punch and kick,. trying to escape this hell I’m hidden
Forbidden to see my prison or the beast that I’m ridden
It’s not my decision,.. being trapped in a living prison
Risen from a seed I have grown here without emission
I seem to be developing and growing bigger by the day
My mind grows complex, in some odd mysterious way
But to stay here any longer my mind will begin to stray
And won’t obey what I say, so all I can do is sit and pray

Suddenly
I began to turn in a circular motion
I’m getting a sickening notion
Being trapped in this ocean
With frightened emotions
Lost without devotion

Moments after my contemplations I got a coking sensation
And a vocal vibration, because my umbilical changed location
With out hesitation two hands plucked me from the situation
Add started pulling me out from the tube to my next destination

After nine months of isolation I saw the women behind my creation
After a minor operation I was in my mothers arms in deep relaxation

Some SV nice drop,,... GL man.....

1~

tight drop homie.....now lets get these votes in.

stay up fam. one.

...the super...

This was feedback posted for CriTiC
 

checkin the polls.......very nice critic.....SV not bad...lol

uppin this

Uping


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Uping this crew battle,,....

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Come on now 94 peeps and not one vote...

Uping this battle please,...

Voted For: CriTiC

wow! now this is a good topikal battle...
good verse from both sides here..... ut my vote has to go to critic..... you start of very nice.... good multies and structure and flow was brlliant....
but this part wins it for you
Suddenly
I began to turn in a circular motion
I’m getting a sickening notion
Being trapped in this ocean
With frightened emotions
Lost without devotion
^^^VERY NICE...... some good thought went into those few lines.. and still going strong with the multies.... and you finished it off well... overall.. 9.5/10

supervillian.... good...
just for a bit of feedback i think you need to work on you speeling.... mybe just proof read it once or twice before you drop....
well you definatly win on muties.. but your rhymes are pretty simple.... thats one thing to work on....
notice that when critic rhymes his words are big and he uses a wide range of vocab.... eg
hidden
ridden
prison
emission
sensation
location
situation
destination
creation
relaxation

and your words are alot more simple
mo
show
flo
doe

alot of your rhymes are pretty forced.... i think you need to take some more time in thinking your verse out before you drop... anyway vote to critic.... for a brilliant topikal verse.......

good lookin'.

yada...yada...yada...uppin'.

s.v.

Up~ing for votes,,...

1~

Voted For: CriTiC

...nice verse....werd...tightness....checkin tha pollz....werd

Vote Removed

..........shit....hol up ima pm strobe fo dat...ight.....

Uping for votes please,,...

1~

...................Cant Be fucked with this shit anymorE............

..................................UpIng This Shit Please....................

This was feedback posted for SUPERVILLAIN
 

checkin polls stay SV.................................

.................................................. ..........

^^^uppin' for feedback.

being this was my first topical......

1) im actually great with the spelling......obviously, the only reason this piece has errors in it is because i tried to consolidate my letter space so that i would be able to keep my structure on point.

2) battlecats...pick who you want to, but fuck voting just for big words (no disrespect). im mean, yea, big words add a sophisticated feel to a verse, however, i felt there was no need for them to be used all over in my verse. i honestly thought that my multies made up for my vocab or "lack there-of". my intention for this topical was to express a general point of view from a industry standpoint. it was about the message...not the words i used. if spelling and big words play into the voting process for topicals...then in the future, i'll keep that in mind.

3) if the verse seemed rushed, its because it was. the original verse was dialogue between a veteran rapper and a new aspiring artist about the trappings of the music business. i couldnt properly execute the concept because i was not able to use different colors (to differentiate speakers) for dialogue purposes. so, at the last minute, i just crammed the concept together as one piece and submitted it so i'd make my deadline. i know that by doing so, my verse had lost some of its edge and creativity, however, i am confident enough with my work to dismiss any perceived "excuses".

4) 4fil...arent you on my team??? lol.

what up crit??? this shits mad slept on homie. i'll do what i can to up it a few more times playboy. i havent been online much recently.

oner.


...the super...

Voted For: CriTiC

v/critic

super-aight u had a nice drop..........coulda been better.......you had real basic vocab.........ya structure was good tho.......nice topic ppl....................you came at this good but you lacked imagry and emotion..........and they really help a topical..............keep it up tho........and keep doin ya thing

critic-aight u came at this harder............you had a lot better vocab than super.................you had emotion and imagry more in your verse.......yours flowed welll...........you came at this just better............ya structure was aiight......i liked how u broke it into pieces...........it coveyed it more as a story.......good drop

plz return the favor...
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...ewpost&t=163144
honest explained only....
peace~1

Sup thanx for the votes,,..

SV I thought you had a nice deep verse, when I started my
topicals I droped the same way. More of a story then a verse
and people would complan about my verse not flowing right.

So I decided to change my style totally coz I though I would
have to drop something great to get a win off you.

All the big words in my verse, it wasn't my intention to just
drop loads of big words I thought it added dept to my flow
thats all.



1~

crit, much love fam. you did your thing. if or when i catch this loss, i wont be bitter in anyway whatsoever. lyricist to lyricist.....its been an honor brotha. hold it the fuck down.

wait a minute......................can you hear that???
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topical rematch??? your rules, okay? im hungry for more practice. honestly, i believe our next battle will be the one to watch for...im focused. hollar at ya boy pimpin'. oner.

c.s. up...

...the super...

since i cant vote then whatever im still gonna leave my feed back,
SUPERVILLAIN won this hands down i thought hes verse was more better enjoyable and had me feeling hes entier verse crit or whatever i thought u'r verse wasnt that good like everyone saying it is, i thought ya lay wasnt good ya flow was ok u stood on topic but i wasnt really enjoying ya verse i got more outta SUPERVILLAIN then u'rs no hate just facts

vote: SUPERVILLAIN

For sure SV when this ones done and dusted we go again..

Hang-man if you wanna go topical holla @ me thanks for
the feedback.

1~

good lookin' out hang. much love for the positive feed cutty. stay up bruh.

UPPIN'!!!

...s.v. deadly...

,,,,,,,,,........................Uping............ .........,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

1~

up......up......uppin' away!!!

...s.v.........c.s.

up......up......uppin' away!!!

...s.v.........c.s.

This was feedback posted for SUPERVILLAIN
 

checkin polls......................................

^^^up...up......uppin' away!!!

the super duper...c.s.

^^^up...up......uppin' away!!!

the super duper...c.s.

Voted For: CriTiC

SuperVilain:
i had no clue you write all these lines that dont make sense...but no hate but you need elevation work on the wordplay try using a better flow to in your verse because you kinda fucked uo on the flow a bit...the stucture was iight kinda fell a little bit towards the middle...but stucture was good..overal...7.2/10

Critic:
not the best ive seen from you but it was pretty dope...nice use of multis and vocabulary...nice wordplay in your lines very well done stucture with a super good flow with it to...nice verse is all i can say you take this with ease...

Vote:
Critic

return the favour here:
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=159763
hopefully you understand my punches cuz half the people dont..

Thanks for the votes people uping this for close.

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Uping,,,...............................

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Uping this pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,.................... .....................

Uping for votes !!!

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Uping for votes please!!! Lop top battery coming this week!!!

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Bumping for close come on people this has been open since november last year!!