thats shit was long as fuck goddamn man but yo nice drop couldnt see n e thing really wrong wit it nice story n u kept wit it nice drop yo peace out keep droppin 1 luv holla back

Im the most honest person on this site i think... Yo A... This is what i think... Emotional drop... Feeling that part... But again... Ur strucute is some of the whackest on the site... Shorten ur lines... Do what you need to do... Ill help you if you need... PM me...
Check out my piece... "Wheres my Crown"...

Young dat shit was pretty deep though.. i was feelin it. Nice wordplay in that over all id say "chea" too dis. 8/10.

I'm Trying, Each Piece My Lines Get Clipped Just Alittle Bit...
I Just Use To Many Multies...
And I Gotta Put That Long Of Lines To Keep The Schemes Moving...
And I'll Check That Piece Right Now Playah...
~One~

Nice Drop Man...Nice Use Of Internals|Kept The Flow On Point|Structure|Switched Up At Times|But I tend To Do That Too|Nice Drop|I Like the Emotion In This Piece|Nice Imagery|..Overall:8.7/10..Round Up if ya Want.

Thanks Alot...
Upping For More Feedback...
~One~

damnit why u gotta ruin my open mic chances

Lololmao...
Homie I Shot Down That Possibility When I Dropped "Beyond The Bullit"...
This Shit Is The Icing On The Cake...
Just Securing My Spot Now...
Between "Beyond The Bullit","Fighting To Live", And This Piece Something I'm On Should Grab The Open Mic Of July...
Plus I've Already Got Some Pieces I've Finished In Advance For August...
Maybe We Should Collab And You Can Get In On Some Of The Glory...
Haha...

August is mine homie... (and Enygmas and Village Pimps) But check my new one "Fuck with Chryme Sindicate?"

Fasho...
Lol And, Me Shadow And Forgotten Flow aka Yung Duke's...
Shits Mos Def Gonna Be Something Special...
And I'll Check Ya Rhym...
~One~

Upping...

emotion dope vocab if u work on the structure thisll be a really dope peice overall id say 7/10 u got mad skills just work on the structure

yO this was some deep shit. honest to god some of this shit had me thinking
i could see the picture you was painting clearly."tears spray off her face as my years fray, momma asking why as i whisper dont fear pray"
that line stood out the most to me.

the hook is good, not as good as the verses, but good
i give this piece a 8.5 cause u might make it better.

" If life's a test, what you gotta do to pass?
who decides when you fail and whats the name of the class?
how many credits is it worth? Im ahead of my verse,
If Heavens up in the clouds, why they put us in the dirt?
hotshh

Thanks Alot People...
Upping...