|
yo i was feelin that cuz sumthin like dat happened to me...but i was old enuff to decide who i wanted 2 go wit..i chose my dad and thinkin back on it today im glad i did...almost brings tears to my eyes when i think about it...nice drop tho...i liked the ending also...
|
check this this was a good drop. didnt show all the emotion of a custody battle but enough to get you into it. I liked goin into the kids head with his friends tellin him what he'd missed. It seems you had $1,000,000 words in their though. Like you got complex and then you'd drop back down to basic. the structure was fine.^ the ending was deep. I have a friend i known since kindergarten goin thru that divorce/custody shit right now so i know a little bit about a little bit and those are the outside emotions. Nice drop. i'm a leave you this link. you'll know what to do with it.
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=174352 holla at ya boy |
I was feelin' this...it was good, but not great. Your story was good...my little brother could relate to this piece in many ways. Vocab could be stronger...flow could be tweaked just a little bit...and you could use some more creative metaphors. Multies would be nice too...you have great potential, keep working at it.
|
First of all it is a good story about real life situations that people are in, if you would have centered it, to me it would have flowed better, but its still hot
Holla, http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=175292 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=175459 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=175293 |
^^^ Yea I read this one before I registered a lil earlier gotta say i thought it was hott...
I tend to sway towards the more story-tellin' drops then many othaz..... ya wordplay - Nyce fit ya vocab and Im big on that Vocab- Nyce and didnt throw off ya wordplay( I thynk they work hand and hand) All together I thought this was really good, not to mention these issues happen in everyday life and are realistic...so big-up...keep elevatin and doin u....1n3 4.5\5 |
Hot shit, good drop and good flowed
It's a real shit here. seven/ 10 keep dropping |
^^^thanx ya'll....
|
Iight Drop Im Feelin It
Good Vokab Used It Decent Strukture Wass Good Good Topic Ta Write About Nice Drop 9/10........................ |
dat wuz hella raw. i really liked how you stayed on point throughout the whole verse.
|
ok vocab but a nice drop ma
feelin the concept...i went through sumthin like that, but i was taken from my mom and dad very deep, i EXPECT to see more 8/10 |
Dope piece rite here.....
flow was very gud on the whole part nice structure was gud story was very good, kept me reading throughout which is difficult cos i get bored...lol felt some gud emotion nice concept, once again gud story metas were the only thing some were gud n others weren't but thats all imma give this...8.5/10 very nice piece fyre can you return the fav girl n leave feed on this new om of mine, thx http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=177082 |
nice/hot shit right there had a nice flow to it and i liked that creative story telling you had in it. keep it up...
|
^^^thanx alot ya'll...
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:53 AM. |