uppin.....................paleez

word, a little one-dimensional, but effective in its own perspective.....gets the message across.......little dry and basic, but it wasn't bad.......simple, yet strong.....i say, just work on creativity and expand your vocabulary horizon.....word, keep up man, it was a good read.

thanks man^^ much appreciated.....still uppin i guess

Damn this some of the hottest shit i ever seen from you,nice concept,i liked the vocab and the way it flowed.
fav line
The day of my death has come settle me down with rum
People pay to see my death, seeing me die for fun?

very nice N.P
8.5/10

ayyo man, thanks alot really appreciate it :thumbup:

damn mayne gotta say diz was hot as fire, str8 dope structure, vocab, meta's eva piece in it was my fav cuz u came wit it & i felt tha emotion, alot of originality, very creative, & jus keeps u focused & u neva get bored readin it at all fa sho ight keep writing

RtF: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=206267

thanks fam, im feelin the love uppin i guess....

Agree with Drakel, it may not have been the most creative piece I have ever read but you put your message across in a powerful way. The vocabulary might be upped here and there, you had the flow down though and the structure was cool. The emotion was definitely there, raw and very strong, kept simple yet effective. Might work on a bit more vivid imagery here and there but overall it was solid.

Keep it up!

appreciate that feed^^ still uppin fa sho .........

as everyone else has said, it was simple but effective. imagery was great, i could imagine myself as the criminal. well done man, nice drop.

Damn Hommie! Nice Open Mic Here I Was Feeling The Imagery And Emotion. Structure Was Really Decent Man Keep It Going. Rhyme Scheme Was Cool I Saw A Few Multi's In Here. You Got Some Talent Keep It Up.
Return The Favor Vote In My Sig
Holla Back

i think i already did rtf.......

bump............

....this peice surprised me.Good shit here..Flowed stayed good throughout the whole thing.Vocab could be upped a notch.was a lil bland .I Liked the concept..the whole jail thing is sumtin I could relate to.LoL....Imjery/emotion..shit was good.Just upp ur vocab.

Overall-8.5

^like to see im still gettin feed lol, i appreciate ur feed......uppin i guess