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let me do you a favor and leave some feedback... since these dicks aren't... i like how it all came together in the end.. the topic was very good, cause lemme tell you, im tired of seein all these "ima shoot ya ass" open mics, but thats beside the point, this isn't the best i've seen from you, vocab. was decent but i don't care about that too much anyway... and i don't care about structure either.. so it was overall like 8/10.. i really liked the subject and how it all broke down.. nice shit.. i don't have any open mics out right now.. vote on a battle of mine or somethin...

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=182695

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ok.....i guess i have to be the honest one....again..

Well lets start with the good, its always good to start out with the good..I liked the whole story, alot of teens are going through that right now and even 2 people i know of are going through it as well that are logged onto RV...such as creativitie and konflicts...but yeh um, i liked the chorus's, except one part..but overall it was a good heart tugger...or tear dropper, whatever...

Now for the bad, well its not all that bad its just what i didnt like in it. first off was the spelling, doesnt microsoft word have spell check...fuckin homo...lol...unless you have a generic mac...which is a pointless computer. (it only has one button on the mouse!!). I didnt like the second chorus because it didnt seem like it was real...i mean, if i was that girl, i would of checked the instructions more than once just in case i was wrong ya feel me...i would be finding any excuse possible to be wrong....um...yeh the ending was um...kinda cheesy...haha..i mean a family needs a father even if he cant provide for em at the time...(eminem - mockingbird) anyways...nice drop overall....shit outta 10...lol...fuck the 1-10 scale i give ya 4 stars...


pz bro...