Only A Kiss.....
 

Love Rose From The Depths Of Lonliness..
Alone Till It Eventually Exposed Its Only Kiss..
From Her Lips It Grows Slowly In My Heart..
Showing Me How Phoney I've Been Thus Far..
Unknowingly, The Part I've Played Was Fake..
Apparently I Thought I Never Made a Mistake..
Cause That Would Mean I Was Able To Break..
So I Write My Life Through The Fables I Make..
But Now Im Trying To Shake This Lable Away..
& Take Tommorow To Turn The Tables On Today..
I've Ate So Much Pain.. Its Time To Drain The Sorrow..
Feelings Were Weak & My Emotions Were Borrowed..
I Made It This Far.. Though, It Still Worries Me To Think..
Im Sailing On A Love Boat In Such A Hurry To Sink..
I Put Failing Above Hope As My Tears Blurry The Ink..
Im Bailing w/ Enough Rope To Jump From The Brink..
Of Heart Break..
Cause My Heart Makes Decisions Before My Smarts Wake..
So Before I Take Part In More Dark Days..
I Park Fate..
& Let It Remain Idle For So Long That It Starts Hate..
Once Again..Love's Date To Embark Waits..
Until The Delay Causes Us To Stray & Part Ways..
As Cupid's Harp Plays..
And I Fall Back Into The Abyss Of Lonliness...
Alone To Reminess...
Was Love At My Lips Or Was It Only A Kiss..

..very nice piece..your content,I'm loving it..I guess I'm more setimental than I thought..your imagery was nice..and your emotions shown through out the piece was excellent..your flow was consistent..and wordplay was great..great topical piece...

Daaaaaamn dawg that shit was deep..........i loved the piece one ill keep in my books.........for friends to read.........

Of Heart Break..
Cause My Heart Makes Decisions Before My Smarts Wake..
So Before I Take Part In More Dark Days..
I Park Fate..
& Let It Remain Idle For So Long That It Starts Hate..
Once Again..Love's Date To Embark Waits..
Until The Delay Causes Us To Stray & Part Ways..
As Cupid's Harp Plays..-------probably my favorite part of all.....damn man good shit no doubt...........anyway hit me up......look up my most recent piece called: YOUR MY WORST ENEMY or click one of my links......thanks.....but anyway nice drop..........

Thanks

Real Nice Piece Here Man. . Imagery Was Good Throughout. . You Helped Improve The Content, Which Was Dope. . I Think The Sentimental Pieces Are Dope Cause They Show Your Actual Emotions. . Multi's Helped The Flow. . Which Was Consistent. . Feeling This Man. . Pz.

Park Fate..
& Let It Remain Idle For So Long That It Starts Hate..
^ ^ That was the dopest part to me. . You leave love alone long enough with a chick and it comes back to haunt you.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=109846
^ ^ Lemme get some Feed. . Thanks.

read like you put alot of emotion into it... i think it was helped by the wording you used, most being a round the same amount of syllables, it really got the flow going along with the mulits... ive seen the topic before, but you didnt come at it played... nice drop

Appreciated

yea i really enjoyed reading this piece from start to finish, deep stuff and well executed.

nice.......nice......nice...makes a change from all the
depressing pieces or gangstreish and this showed
emotion nad feeling.....9/10 blud

Evolve is switching over on us... Nice drop.
Flow was beautiful... Rich N.I. has made the switch
to open micer.

Lol.. ^^^

Evo you know you my boy n' all but...



I didn't like this... at all... :( well I did like the imagery... but that's all... flow was blah... didn't make me wanna keep reading... I don't know fam... it's... *sigh* you know..?


I think you should redo this... get more metas in there... make it flow a bit more... well maybe it's me... I'd rather drop more into a bar than less naw mean..? If I have too...


all in all... I'm sorry... no impressed...




*hands you a dollar*



Get me a super size fry... :D

WOW.. are you serious... Im gonna have to disagree with you on this Av... the flow was on point all the way through...

you mean too tell me this doesn't flow

I Made It This Far.. Though, It Still Worries Me To Think..
Im Sailing On A Love Boat In Such A Hurry To Sink..
I Put Failing Above Hope As My Tears Blurry The Ink..
Im Bailing w/ Enough Rope To Jump From The Brink..
Of Heart Break..
Cause My Heart Makes Decisions Before My Smarts Wake..
So Before I Take Part In More Dark Days..
I Park Fate..
& Let It Remain Idle For So Long That It Starts Hate..
Once Again..Love's Date To Embark Waits..
Until The Delay Causes Us To Stray & Part Ways..


maybe you need to read this again...

felt da emotion.....deep piece.............props on da work of art...flow was on point, simple rhyme scheme but it still suited it

stay up

ok... well let me say this about it... the flow was blah... wasn't moving... it was stagnant... I read it a few times... it just wasnt a good flow to me... More like a text god flow... which is el garbo outside of battles... for the simple fact... if it's an open mic it should be a song sooner or later... if this had no intention of ever being a song... then... great flow... but if it did... flow was bland fam... sorry...


and yes I will say...

from here...

I Made It This Far.. Though, It Still Worries Me To Think..
Im Sailing On A Love Boat In Such A Hurry To Sink..
I Put Failing Above Hope As My Tears Blurry The Ink..
Im Bailing w/ Enough Rope To Jump From The Brink..
Of Heart Break..
Cause My Heart Makes Decisions Before My Smarts Wake..
So Before I Take Part In More Dark Days..
I Park Fate..
& Let It Remain Idle For So Long That It Starts Hate..
Once Again..Love's Date To Embark Waits..
Until The Delay Causes Us To Stray & Part Ways..
As Cupid's Harp Plays..
And I Fall Back Into The Abyss Of Lonliness...
Alone To Reminess...
Was Love At My Lips Or Was It Only A Kiss..


to there... flow was better... but the rhyme scheme was boring... :( Sorry Rich... I'm just not feelin this one family...

Ok.. i will be sure to check for one of your pieces so you can show me how a "good
flow" is suppose to look like... Ill be sure to be honest like you were

lmao... why are you gettin all defensive..? but you can either peep... uh... Stephanie's kiss... or... Gone... well excerpt from it...

I Aint Defensive... I Just Dont See It The Way You Do... But I Respect Your Opinion
Though... & I Replied To Stephanie...

By The Way.. This Wasn't Meant To Be A Full Song.. It Was Only Suppose To Be A
Test Piece That Was Keyed..

What The Fuck

*punches you in the stomach* Shut up dummy..!

Lol

hey ladys dont get in a slappin contest, it woz a good piece but verbal got his oppinion and evolve got his. make peace my brothers. (lol)

We have... Evo ban this man...

woh woh i woz only jokin hence the lol att the end, shit ill back off, no need to ban me. sorry!!!!

naw man I was jokin... Evo can't ban people... he's a lowly forum moderator... nothing special... it's ok...















































Rich has warts... & this is a dope way to freepost..!

Ummmm... Must I Remind You That I Am Now & Have Been For Some Time.. A

SUPER MOD.. & To Be Honest Av... I Might Ban You For Not Being My Yes Man

--[Flow]---
Liked your scheme you had goin on here...you had alot of dope internals throughout the piece..you kept a level of consistancy about it, experimented in your rhymes and it pulled off..some dope shit!

--[Vocab]--
Vocab was above average, liked the way you didn't over-use or but also you didn't under-use it...you had some good terms that really fitted into the flow and topic, looked like you thought about what to use before your put it in..just didn't put stuff in there to rhyme or make it look impressive..props.

--[Concept]--
Outragous topic, you really filled the bars with some real gritty emotion and some real feelin's...it didn't appear to be superficial, came out real and sincere. Original[ish] topic, kept on point and really came through:
"Unknowingly, The Part I've Played Was Fake..
Apparently I Thought I Never Made a Mistake..
Cause That Would Mean I Was Able To Break..
So I Write My Life Through The Fables I Make.."

--[Overall]--
Very few pieces like this actually come through on Open Mic, you have some real ability and it showed...4/5, was one of the best pieces i've read in a while (with the exception of Dev and Such)...was of a high quality...good read. :thumbup:

That was nice. It had a bad ass rhyme scheme and flowed amazingly well. Good job Evolve. It's good to see that you're still dropping dope rhymes. Keep em comin bro

pz

Whoa... Domain 9.. Where the hell you been kid?

damn! tht was ill..
u defo had som good imagry ther...consitantly flowd
and guud wordpl;ay...and vocan wasnt bad
but overall tht was trully and definatly ill

Im Sailing On A Love Boat In Such A Hurry To Sink..
I Put Failing Above Hope As My Tears Blurry The Ink..
^^thnk tht was u illest bar

Damn Evo .. Nice piece .. Haven't seen anything from U in bit .. Nice to see U still got it .. Dope concept .. The rhyme scheme of this was sicc as shit man .. I liked the topic and the way that U took it .. Dopely done and nicely written ..


Unknowingly, The Part I've Played Was Fake..
Apparently I Thought I Never Made a Mistake..
Cause That Would Mean I Was Able To Break..
So I Write My Life Through The Fables I Make..


That was my quotable of the verse .. Some deep meaning in those lines in my opinion .. Deep meanin' in this whole verse .. I wonder who it was about .. Heh .. Keep writin' and droppin' the hotness man .. One