|
DRAG~ON vs DON
Battle Rules:
30 - UNLIMITED Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting topic:addiction due 45 minutes after chekin u have 30 minutes to chek in by Minimum posts to vote: 20 Check in by: 08-02-04 at 09:52 PM Must drop verse in 45 minutes after check in. |
DON has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-02-04 09:23 PM.
|
DRAG~ON has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-02-04 09:23 PM.
|
an addictions an affliction poisonin mans mind...
this day and age the crack rock takes up a druggies mind... but theres a fine line between addict and user... addicts beat their wives for money to use her... these users are kids who hear and see on tv... ok this was written to the beat by eminem the way i am and i duno how to make structure wit these new battles so please excuse that but this fits to the beat of the way i am so dont say these rhymes are childish cause they flow wit tha beat i didnt purposely make it rhyme every two lines and they hear these rappers say smoke this shit of you wana be me... well heres a story of a boy who heard this message and answered... he was 9 and depressed his only parent was ridden of cancer... he wathces the tv and hears about these addictions... so he stumbles up the steps and enters into his kitchen... the walls are brown and pasty from the years of smoke... and the smell of mold causes his lungs to just choke... he stammers over to the table and sees a small orange bottle... and jus like that the addiction has went from stationed to throttled... the boy piks up the bottle and observes the content... and hes sad and depressed cause he dont know where his mom went... so he grips the bottle and pries open the safety... cause he sees his dad poopin 3 a day lately... he figures itll make him feel better that his mommy had passed... so he swallows down 3 and drinks down some water in glass... he feels nuthing cept warm water flow down to his belly... so bein a child he wants some peanut butter and jelly... but theres none left no and why cause of his daddys addiction... he spent up all the money and looked to welfare for support and his wishin... his dad is upstairs dead with the lead in the palm of his hand... this cravin for drugs made this boys future drop from the plan... the lead isnt lead from a bullet or a gun... nah its these circles you pop wit your thumb... they go down in your throat and feed on this hunger... but meanwhile the addiction roars through your body like thunder... you want more so you score wit the dealer on 7'th and west... little to know this pill would end up in your little boys chest... its sad to know now his future has gone straight diminished... cause this boys next to full from this bottle hes finished... he retreats back to the couch to watch the tv... where he hears the lyrics take this pot if you wana be me... |
fuck i screwed up my verse here is the real one i accidently cliked in the wrong spot HERE IS THE REAL VERSE
an addictions an affliction poisonin mans mind... this day and age the crack rock takes up a druggies mind... but theres a fine line between addict and user... addicts beat their wives for money to use her... these users are kids who hear and see on tv... and they hear these rappers say smoke this shit of you wana be me... well heres a story of a boy who heard this message and answered... he was 9 and depressed his only parent was ridden of cancer... he wathces the tv and hears about these addictions... so he stumbles up the steps and enters into his kitchen... the walls are brown and pasty from the years of smoke... and the smell of mold causes his lungs to just choke... he stammers over to the table and sees a small orange bottle... and jus like that the addiction has went from stationed to throttled... the boy piks up the bottle and observes the content... and hes sad and depressed cause he dont know where his mom went... so he grips the bottle and pries open the safety... cause he sees his dad poopin 3 a day lately... he figures itll make him feel better that his mommy had passed... so he swallows down 3 and drinks down some water in glass... he feels nuthing cept warm water flow down to his belly... so bein a child he wants some peanut butter and jelly... but theres none left no and why cause of his daddys addiction... he spent up all the money and looked to welfare for support and his wishin... his dad is upstairs dead with the lead in the palm of his hand... this cravin for drugs made this boys future drop from the plan... the lead isnt lead from a bullet or a gun... nah its these circles you pop wit your thumb... they go down in your throat and feed on this hunger... but meanwhile the addiction roars through your body like thunder... you want more so you score wit the dealer on 7'th and west... little to know this pill would end up in your little boys chest... its sad to know now his future has gone straight diminished... cause this boys next to full from this bottle hes finished... he retreats back to the couch to watch the tv... where he hears the lyrics take this pot if you wana be me... ok this was written to the beat by eminem the way i am and i duno how to make structure wit these new battles so please excuse that but this fits to the beat of the way i am so dont say these rhymes are childish cause they flow wit tha beat i didnt purposely make it rhyme every two lines |
~ADDICTION~
frustration 4 wut u want..like a ghost it haunts ur dreams make u pheen..da luv will make u scream u feel as though u need it..like SNOOP felt bout bein weeded... u took it seeded it sprouted.. feel as though u could neva live wit out it... addiction could cause movement 4 stealin,killin, n groovin... abusin, lovin, n usin kinda like a BOAT it'll have u cruisin addiction is a word 4 luv...fittin wit u like a glove lovely n white as a dove...another word 4 a strong drug but it can also have down n out wit no food n ya mouf..broke n sellin ya house n when feel its a drout...u back wit it again like beans n mexicanz...like addicted women n men like HILLBILLIES n kin addictions da greatest disaster.growin faster n faster 2 conceal da crave is wut ur after |
my fault here is da whole thing
~ADDICTION~ frustration 4 wut u want..like a ghost it haunts ur dreams make u pheen..da luv will make u scream u feel as though u need it..like SNOOP felt bout bein weeded... u took it seeded it sprouted.. feel as though u could neva live wit out it... addiction could cause movement 4 stealin,killin, n groovin... abusin, lovin, n usin kinda like a BOAT it'll have u cruisin addiction is a word 4 luv...fittin wit u like a glove lovely n white as a dove...another word 4 a strong drug but it can also have u down n out wit no food n ya mouf..broke n sellin ya house n when feel its a drout...u back wit it again like beans n mexicanz...like addicted women n men like HILLBILLIES n kin addictions da greatest disaster.growin faster n faster 2 conceal da crave is wut ur after control u been out of it...luv so u been shoutin it crazy insane losin ya brain 2 remain sane u grab it addicts won't understand so dey kill 4 its touch must have n ya clutch...even it if means takin a TYSON punch... so go head n pack a lunch cuz ur goin on a ride da crave will definitely take control says da demon inside |
uppin.............................................
|
yo we still uppin 4 votes
n please give me sum honest votes on my other battles 1 |
uppin.............................................
|
Voted For: DON
Hmmmm Hard To Say Who Won.... Drag- i Liked Your Verse, You Explained How Bad People Want It And Need It, Simple But Stated How It Feels To Do And Need It.... Don- Your Verse Was Good To, You Explained How Media And Such Influence People By Words To Do Things, You Explained The Boys Situation In Depth N Detail, The Kitchen Walls, And Such, Verse Was Good Because You Went Into Detail, How To Get It, Why People Are Influnced To Get It, And What Happens As They Do It... Both- Both Had Good Flow, And I Could Invision Don's Better, But I Liked Drags Too, Structure Doesnt Mean Much When Your Going At A Topic, But None The Less My Vote Go's To Don, Because I Could Vision It Better, And Was More Descriptive.... Final Vote- Don Nice Topical'.... |
thanks for the vote still uppin it................
|
im not sure if i can vote but i'll explain anyhow..
don,you brought a good story line n used good vocab,came with an image n you protrade it well,i enjoyed your verse you kept the reader in mind while you were writing it i think thats important....a couple lines were kinda outta place but after continueing on in the read i got them..nice work...
drag-on..i liked your verse also but you did'nt tackle it the same as don by telling a story which is still koo but you kinda lost me when mentioning peeps like snoop..n tyson..i did'nt really feel that 2 much..but on the other hand i liked some of your comparisons that you did..but overall i was hangin for a story line..or a real meaning... overall i gotta give this 2 don for coming with a storyline n having some real feeling in there.....if drag-on would've came with a storyline n with his style i think this would've been a much closer battle.....props ta both mc's good job |
thanx 4 ya honest votes
please vote on sum of my other battles 1 |
Voted For: DON
nice battle but i was feelin DONs verse better his was done better beter flow and structure and it told me more about an adiction na mean well nice drops both ya'll vote DON |
Voted For: DRAG~ON
I GOTTA GIVE THIS TO DRAG ON.. EVEN THOUGH HIS WAS A LOT SHORTER, I THINK THAT IT WAS MORE DESCRIPTIVE AND INTERESTING.. DON'S WAS JUST LONG AND BORING.. DRAG ON PUT SOME GOOD WORDING IN THERE WITH SOME NICE FIGURITIVE LANGUAGE AND SET A NICE TONE FOR HIS PIECE.. HIS VERSE WAS A LT MORE FRUITFULL AND THOUGHT OUT INTO A COMPACT DECRIPTION AS DON'S WAS A KINDERGADEN STORY.. DON'S LOST MY INTEREST IN THE FIRST LINE, HIS RHYMES WERE KIDDY, AND HIS WHOLE STORY WAS EXTREMLEY BORING.. HE TOTALLY FAILED ON THIS ONE.. IN MY OPINION DON, I DON'T THINK THAT RAP IS FOR YOU, BUT IT'S JUST AN OPINION.. BASICALLY DRAGON TOOK THIS EASILY AS HE ATLEAST KNOWS HOW TO RHYME AND USE SIMILIES.. |
MY BAD, I MEANT TO ASK, PLEASE RETURN THE FAVOR AND LEAVE A DROP IN MY THREAD, THANX..
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=139869 |
^your vote is being removed it is obvious it was a hate vote u are a sorry excuse for even a textc.
|
thanx 4 yo vote
n vote 4 sum of my other battles still uppin 4 votes |
still upppin 4 votes
n deez battles need 1 more vote 2 close da battle DRAG~ON VS phatinum http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=138668 r.i.p http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=141250 thanx 1 |
Voted For: DON
Damn...Don..feelin your verse. Shit was hot. Touched me cuz it had truth in it. Drags was koo too. Nice multis and use of creativity. Don takes this though. That closure was ill mayn. Wasnt expectin that. Don gets it with a much better verse. No hate though. Vote-DON |
yo we still uppin 4 honest votes
post a link will get bak at ur battles 1 |
Voted For: DRAG~ON
What In The Fuck Went On Here???... Both Were Pretty Scattered And Confusing... But Atleast Drag-On Stayed On Topic The Whole Time And Shit... Its A Shame Cuz Were Don Was Going With The First Few Bars Coulda Been Hot... But Ya... Emotion: Don Metas: Drag Flow: Drag Storyline: Drag Overall Enjoyment: Drag And Thats Whats Up... .One. |
Voted For: DON
basically don won this ... more lines gave him the advantage,... and besides that drag ons structure was wack and his punches were basic no wordplay no multies no dope meta's basically no meta's at all... definately could have been better...... don you had a decent verse a couple good punches and dope meta's overall you killed him in this battle and even if he would have done 30 lines i still dont think he could have beat you... basically you both need to elevate... don you used 30 lines and had about 3 dope bars in 30 lines you should have at least 6 dope bars at least vote: don |
Voted For: DON
the boy piks up the bottle and observes the content... and hes sad and depressed cause he dont know where his mom went... so he grips the bottle and pries open the safety... cause he sees his dad poopin 3 a day lately... he figures itll make him feel better that his mommy had passed... so he swallows down 3 and drinks down some water in glass... ^i liked ur imagery in the battle, this was an example i pulled out.. i felt your topic went further in depth, than drag~on's.. nice topic to go off of also...... but u took this by far in my opinion... but i did like sum of Drag~on's metas.. good job.. stay up you two.. pz.. |
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:20 AM. |