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Dabatos vs Verbal Abuse
Battle Rules:
20 lines max No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting Topic: 10 commandments 3-0 is ko.. 1 hour to spit.. And don't go easy..trust me, i ain't a newb Verbal Abuse, and i know u ain't also! I wan't to beat a vet dat tried there best, and i'll beat u only keying this also :) Minimum posts to vote: 20 Check in by: 11-07-04 at 02:59 AM Must drop verse in 60 minutes after check in. |
Dabatos has ACCEPTED this battle on 11-07-04 02:30 AM.
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Verbal Abuse has ACCEPTED this battle on 11-07-04 02:33 AM.
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10 Commandments
Dear God, recite these text, for God given breath and vision. apostles listen to Jesus call and simply became family. what is it that im missin? you were risen then decended. clouds parted like george clooney at the grammy's. i dont understand this vanity, my prayer is selfish. God give me wings, so i can fly up and touch your face. Amen.
Dear Jacob Smith, my hands are weary, ive given up morality for truth. souly to spread my blessing on crippled and broken youth. id grant you ears not wings, so you wont miss my thoughts. thoughts i voice into yours that always interprit whats lost. because restoring your present is prior to what the future holds. already 15, i still long to nurture you as your figure molds. youve been through hell and its only earth, i suppose. but your path has been in my control since birth, eyes closed. do not fear my presence, i will always be near. im everywhere, im even the escene behind reasons of tears. im the sight, the thought, and sound of an ambulance. im bliss, if i was lesser of a god i would command you once. hints ten commandments, theres nine more your missing. im glad to see youve got # 1 down, keep on progressing. *i was going for more of a conversation, rather than story or complex piecing. |
Topic: 10 commandments Ten = Ten Commandments [Not Everyone Follows The Ten] In this planet, It is sed many people live under the ten commandments??? They Good Christians? Then why the ten they seem not to understand it??? These hypocrites say "they've never lied, their not terrible christians"... But they do the same unbearable sinnin, ruinin the fake faith with in em... Catholicism! its suppost to be the largest and most known religous belief... Supposedly are full of faithful people who still are full of riches with greed... It's just 2 hard to believe, that they follow the ten after seein viscous police.. Who don't sin? I guess their character switches while stompin bitches with feet.. N sins again, lyin they did nothin. though they we're caught on video tape.. Caught again cheating on their wives with hoes in their very own place... [Example of Broken Commandments] ''Though shall not lie?" but still everyone does it once in a while... From adults to young childs, to even priests lyin in a court trials.. "shall not murder?" then why does this country send ppl to war... When they know that death n killings is what a future war stores... "Shal not steal?" But even innocents have to do it, jst to survive.. Even though they know it will hurt them inside ruining their pride.. "Shall not commit adultery?" This is just a life long test for all men.. Also women, but for us avoiding temptations is too hard to attempt.. People say you'll go tohell, if you break only one of these commandments.. Then I guess everyone in this world's sould are ready for complete banishment.. I basiclly keyed this! Good Luck N shyt, i think i went too easy lol :( |
uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin
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Quote:
yea, up. "vote or die" - p diddy. |
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This was feedback posted for Dabatos
well, as usual, all the battles that i think are good have been involving my crew members so i'm unable to vote...
i liked both drops... I.Mind, the only thing i would say you needed to do better was look at how you worded some of your stuff... you were on point with ya topic the whole way through and your examples were definitely truth Verbal Abuse (you still hate me don't you?...lol) good drop... the prayer at the beginning added a good touch to your piece... with that said, you also did the complete opposite of I.mind... i thought you concentrated too much on the convo between G-d and Jacob S. and not enough on the actual commandments... the last line eluded to it but there's more to be said... if ya drop was longer i'm sure ya woulda nailed the other nine... pretty even... i'll let someone else decides who won |
man, someone vote!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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freaken read it..........
freaken read it.......... |
Voted For: Dabatos
I think that ..::InGeNiUs MiNd::.. got this battle because i feel that ..::InGeNiUs MiNd::.. came stronger in the following categories...Topic i felt ..::InGeNiUs MiNd::.. got it was effective and was on point VA u shoulda been a bit more creative on this occasion rhyming i felt went to ..::InGeNiUs MiNd::.. good lookin wordplay and creativity goes to ..::InGeNiUs MiNd::.. and flow and structure i'll give to ..::InGeNiUs MiNd::... V/..::InGeNiUs MiNd::.. There's my sig be sure to return the favour honestly |
thanx uppin
thanx uppin thanx uppin thanx uppin |
Voted For: Dabatos
this was close but ingenius mind wins this because i liked the style that was used on the verse and it went better with the topic.both came complex and had good vocab and all and i think verbal abuse had an interesting peice but i felt that instead of talking about 1 commandment,it should have been at least most of them,which is what minds did.....close one keep it up ya'll....but heres my vote |
Voted For: Dabatos
You did good prolly not your best but good keep it up n shyt.............................................. .................................................. ............. |
Voted For: Dabatos
Verbal abuse: hmm not bad was feelin your verse just felt you didnt come as hard in the emotion or vocabulary as I Mind did...if you would of upped your vocabulary you would of had this...but not by far....i like how you both stayed on topic to but Verbal work on vocabulary...well you also had a great stucture to your verse as well and it flowed well to...good verse 8.2/10 I. Mind: hmm good emotion came pretty tight in the 2nd verse with the vocabulary and the multis hit hard...stucture was there i couldent say this was your best but its almost there....pretty dicent peices from both of you..i just feel I Mind had better vocab and emotion to hers...8.4/10 |
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uppin.............................................
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Voted For: Dabatos
not bad not bad. mood: i getting deep: i flow both style both stayed on topic: i |
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