My Life {my first open mic}
 

im looking over shoulders, looking in ~your eyes~
i see ~my demise~, as i fight for ~the prize~
i close ~my eyes~, and wander ~why~
growing up, gotta be so hard ~for a guy~
i sit ~and try~, not to sit ~and sigh~
cause if i sit ~and sigh~, i think i ~will die~
kill my ~insides~, my feelings getting ~torn~
my word ~is born~, i cant whether ~this storm~
my life ~is torn~, as depression ~kicks in~
cause i cant walk into the house, i used to ~kick it in~
family dis ~owns me~, i loose all my ~homies~
no one can control ~me~, i guess im my ~own me~
but still you ~own me~, yet i wish you ~owed me~
but you just ~disposed me~, i guess i ~owed me~
an explanation, for what happend to ~my life~
this drama, this ~strife~.. Pains as sharp as ~a knife~
why ~my life~, cant be ~picture perfect~
being someone im not........ it seems ~hardly worth it~



I would really appreciate feedback on this piece, this is real life shit going on right now..

Yes...Plain Piece Of Emotional Material, Not Complex, But Held Depth In Multie's Which Expressed Multiple Feeling's.....Keep Up.

Thanks Dunny..


Any Body Else Got Some Feed?

tight man drop....fo yo 1st drop in open mic...structure was pretty sik, u needs 2 chek dat sum of dat shit makes sense up in tha "owed me" area of the verse..but it was good man. 4sho, keep elevatin n droppin.....Chek ma battles and return favour wit an honest vote. Peace

You Have The Same Birthday As Me....When Was You Conceived :)

Seriously July 23rd? any way thanks alot EG for The Info..

up for more feed..

Yes.... July 23rd..Seriously I was Born In 89' Though..May The Force Remain With You...My Young Padawan Learner..

Hmm So Your Only 15?... You Are A Young Padawan Learner.. lol..


Respect your elders bitch..

thats all good man good drop for ur first one man keep em comin keep uppin your style man good flow tho and good metas but im new to this shyt too lemme know what u think
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=162583

Thanks For The Feed Mang... Anybody Else Got Something To Tell Me.. hehe.

Yes I Am 15..... and I Still Draw More Head Then You...

This drop was seriously ill hope I see more ill ish like this from you... I know I'll see more.:hump:

Thanks Alot, This Drop Was Deep From The Heart.. Like arterie deep.. lol..

Thanks for feed.. uppin for more..

Reply To My Pm Tek, ....!

^^^ I dont have a PM in my Box Dun? ^^^ lol..

izzzzzzzupin this