stanza vs Nelson Mandela
 

Battle Rules:

10-15 Lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

THE TOPIC IS: FINAL RUN



Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 04-13-05 at 11:54 PM

Must drop verse in 1500 minutes after check in.

Nelson Mandela has ACCEPTED this battle on 04-13-05 11:25 PM.

Stanza has ACCEPTED this battle on 04-13-05 11:33 PM.

Final Run:
*Slave: We have to do something brothers im tired of...*

Generations of hurt faces, painfully patient, jus waiting
for eyes of hatred to realize slaves are mistaken
tried escaping, but the death toll remains steadily updatin
*This is it our final run, rise with thy heart not thy fist*
one last chance at freedom spoken with words of truthful meaning
our final run even those whose life is yet to begun.soul leakin,still leading
holdin, the torch to light the way for those even blinded by greed
even though working on plants doesnt give us food for the mouths we feed
last shot to cease the deadly risk we take to survive this state of time
our state of mind is set abroad the faithful shine from eyes
of the honestly forgiving, unsinningly fufilling this final rise
mistreated,beated abused and left bleedin,die from feeling
souls risin through the ceiling,screamin 4 emotional healing

*Holds the torch high to lead the way for the next generation*

This was feedback posted for Nelson Mandela
 

Beautiful piece, your approach of the topic was so powerful and strong. You found an excellent balance in your vocab, not too basic and yet not too complex. The imagery was amazing, you managed to paint a great picture of the situation. The emotion was so pure, so raw. Flow was coo as well as structure. I just like how you worded everything, you have a very nice writing style. One of my favo lines was this: "*This is it our final run, rise with thy heart not thy fist*"

Great piece!

Voted For: Nelson Mandela

Emotion- Coo man i felt the Emotion in this verse, str8 up good.

Vocab-Upp your vocab man, so it'll make you verse decent.

Imaginary- YOU had a hella good imaginary my friend keep that up

Concept- I think you should've approach the topic more different, not ZOOM into the story that quick.

But this a good drop, good flow, with good imaginary. Upp your vocab and your emotion A little. But i think you got this battle. G-luck on the polls

Vote removed

Ahhhhhhh that should be a feedback my fault..........................I'll pm strobe

iight iight get it removed and dont do it again or i will send you to america again....lmao.....anywayz UPPPIN THIS MUH FUCKIN BATTLE YALL

Yeah Get that Shit removed ...................... Thanx

Uppin

uppin uppin uppin uppin...........................

Damn No replies for me?

I must be wack ass hell :(

Damn

uppin dis battle fuckers..........................

upupupupupupupupupupupuppupupupupupupupupupupupupu pupup

Voted For: Stanza

stanza

Im at the end and yet still I see no signs of victory within
Maybe it is Defeat that is waiting for me At The end
^^IGHT OPENER
This is it I can barely go on like this struggle & gasping for air
I dont see my completion or my place rest...but yet its there
^^NICE LINE
if its not in the past & not in the future how is it present?
These question got me pondering and answers im guessing
^^DECENT
Hold off on the delays I can Finaly See my mark of Prize
My place of strength and my place of rest but yet... Surprise
^^IIGHT
I Open my eyes only to see the harsh and cruel real vision
I was headed in the wrong direction my senses were missin
^^LIKE IT
This was a time of prayer so I feel down on my bending Knee
And I began to Beg the God above for his merciful Peace
^^GOOD LINE
Then The Sky was Broken and I seen My ending Place
My Final run Was over Thanx to God's Wonderful Grace
^^PRETTY GOOD CLOSURE

STANZA- I LIKED MOST OF UR VERSE. THERE WAS ALOT OF TOUGHTFUL VOCAB INVOLVED AND I LIKED THAT. THE STRUCTURE WAS NICE AND EASY TO READ. JUS NEED TA ELEVATE A LIL BIT MO HOMIE N U GON B STR8 8.5/10

NELSON MANDELA

Generations of hurt faces, painfully patient, jus waiting
for eyes of hatred to realize slaves are mistaken
tried escaping, but the death toll remains steadily updatin
^^VERY GOOD OPENER

*This is it our final run, rise with thy heart not thy fist*

one last chance at freedom spoken with words of truthful meaning
our final run even those whose life is yet to begun.soul leakin,still leading
^^O.K
holdin, the torch to light the way for those even blinded by greed
even though working on plants doesnt give us food for the mouths we feed
^^DECENT LINE
last shot to cease the deadly risk we take to survive this state of time
our state of mind is set abroad the faithful shine from eyes
of the honestly forgiving, unsinningly fufilling this final rise
^^NICE LINE REALY LIKIN IT
mistreated,beated abused and left bleedin,die from feeling
souls risin through the ceiling,screamin 4 emotional healing
^^AVERAGE CLOSURE

NELSON MANDELA- I LIKED UR VERSE AS WELL. THIS WUZ A VERY CLOSE BATTLE B/W BOF OF U, I LIKED UR LYRICAL DICTION AND THOUGHTFUL LINES. UR STRUCTURE WUZ NICE AND EASY 2 READ. U R REAL GOOD AT TOPICALS BUT I THINK HE HAD U BEAT
NO HATE AT AL B/C U R REAL GOOD.
8/10
VERY VERY VERY CLOSE BATTLE BUT MY V GOES 2 STANZA
V/STANZA

CUD U PLEASE RTF IN DA BATTLE IN MY SIG W/AN HONEST VOTE
THANX!

Thanx mayne favor was Returned

We still Uppin

Uuuuppppppppppiiiiiiinnnnnnnnn
........................Uppin

Voted For: Nelson Mandela

Vote= Mandela
reason being... his verse stood out to more cuz i can relate to it... i was feeling his topic more although neither were that creative. i would've liked to see more of a slave dialect in Mandela's piece that would've given it a touch of Creative Dopeness. as for Stanza i didnt like his whole story telling aspect. i felt he could've been more discriptive mor vivid. his vocab lacked aswell. it would've brought the piece out more.

as for the money that Stanza promised
my account # is 40643

iight iight thanks yo.....uppin uppipn uppin......

uppin dis battle fuckers..........................

uppin uppin uppin uppin..................................

uppin dis battle yo.....................................

Yuppidy Uppidy Uppin....

........................................

fuckin upping dis battle yo DAMN..................

.................................................. .............

Uppin>>>>>>i Think Rv Is Just Like Vote-challenged Or Something

uppin dis muh fuckin battle yo for real for real..

this is bullshit....vote you fuckin fuckers.......

Voted For: Stanza

damn....this is a hard one to call................

stanza...........ure shit flowed well playa.......lines seem stretched cuz of BIG text....i still am baffled as to why people do this.........anyway, u stayed on topic all the way through....a lot of feeling and emotion in ya drop.......delivered a sort of imagery to the thoughts n shit....a short topical when put against some i've seen which i like cuz it is too the point and effective....u didnt drag it on tryin to squeeze as much in as possible....ya vocab was nice, a couple of multies in there to....overall 7.5/10

nelson.....another gud drop.....strucutre was aight, not as tight as stanza and that is why his flowed better....u stayed on topic to and i liked ya approach to the topic....ya dropped a nice verse with feelin to.....had similar affect to stanza's with the imagery shit.........ya idea was good, vocab was nice and shit but i jsut think that stanza's flowed better and that is why i enjoyed his that little better...overall 7/10

V/ - stanza

and plz RTF!!! don't just sleep on shit!! links are in my siggy!!

Thanx Mayne ......................... I Rtf Already

Still Uppin

Voted For: Stanza

i'll start with mandela's verse......nice multi's used but i felt that it lacked complexity and that because of the structure your flow was off.....but nice concept used......

stanza verse i enjoyed more.....he came complex with it and the vocab usage was real nice....flow was smooth....my vote goes to him

Thanx Gurlie

We Still Upppin Only Two More votes ..................Uppin

Voted For: Stanza

meh, i liked stanza's verse more....i liked his angle at the topic better, yours was good nels, but i felt you put most of your verse into capturing emotion, not imagery, and stanza did both pretty well.....so im giving it to him.......nels, you had some nice multies though, structure was off though, stanza, not a bad, short verse, enjoyed it, keep up

/stanxza

Thanx Man for the votes comin Yall Only one more vote then this is over Plain And simple nice drop though Nelson Maybe we will meet up next time

Voted For: Stanza

iught i aint too good wit topicals... but you easily took this... more emotion more of a story and it was dope! lol, i was feelin your verse alot man, flow was decent and vocabulary was good... nelson u had the vocabulary vut i wasnt really felin your verse... it was good but u nweed to have more emotion, flow was ight thoyugh keep droppin em pz...