Just A Lil Bit Remix (a girls verse)
 

My one verse for the "Just A lil-bit" Remix (girl verse)

I don’t even know ya NAME
This PARTY-TYTE but if u wanna leave im GAME
Put it ON-ME-RIGHT and I can be your everyTHANG
ill be ya dj like lil WAYNE ur WEED to EASE the PAIN
you can call me ur MARY-JANE
im feelin ur southern SLANG
n the way ya CHAIN-HANG
men BEFORE-U they went n THEY-CAME
let me RESTORE-U n ill teach u some THANGS
we can run the BLOCK-TOGETHER
let off SHOTS-TOGETHER
im more than jus a ONE-NIGHT-STAND
I make the biggest gangstas wanna HOLD-MY-HAND
So it all starts off by just a LIL-BIT
HIT that SHIT REAL-QUICK then endin IT
But like I said one night with ME
u’ll never WANNA-LEAVE
pretty soon ur GONNA-SEE
what exactly i MEAN
cause In the bed I BRING-THE-HEAT
have u sweatin in BETWEEN-THE-SHEETS
im tha most gangsta girl you’ll EVER-MEET
she might come close but she’ll NEVER-BEAT
wen u think its amazin it get better EVERY-WEEK
make u thugs get VERY-WEAK
you’ll NEVER-EVER want another BITCH
n jus think it all started with JUST-A-LIL-BIT

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2137428

^^^My link

Uppin for feed back

nice shit ma
keep it up

Come on uppin for feedback!

Nice Lil Verse Ma.........I Thought You Had A Complete 3............But It Was Straight

P.S. When I Post A Free Peep It Aight...1

^^Aiight, Lookin for more feedback!

AHEM!..............You Aint Peep It Yet..............Lol Liar

nicee ma.. keep up .w this shit

Uppin for more feedback!

that was hot ay yo whats the weather like in tha A

this joint was str8 i thought u had more tho but its ight.
work on ya flow a lil bit, so it dont sound so choppy..1..

Yo Ma That Was Nice!Just Work On Da Word-play other than that that was pretty hot!Keep It Up Ma N Sooner Or Lada We Prolly Do A Collab!
DEUCEZ
>>7/10Holla Atcha Boy!

Ay Im feelin that verse ma. So how's it on tha Southside? Holla at me. 1.

lmao.....poor children, every nigga dat posted feed in here tried 2 get wit u. they didn't even drop decent feedback.anyway tho

nice piece, i noticed word play and rhyme scheme throughout it tha most. focus on ya structure tho, try 2 make every line match up. rtf, i got a drop featurin LFS comin real soon......1

^^^^^^ agreed....... very very agreed...... ill copy and past so u get the idea

Eh.....this was pretty weak , could have been alot better..
Your structure was off.. could have been better... try to line
up youir bars, and next lime use alittle punhclines....Wordplay was decent
The main thing you should focus on it your structure ..
try to make wel worded verses... nice punchlines
couple of meta's and bam good verse

first thing i'll say is work on your structure coz your flow was all over the place......try to make each line near enough the same length......work on your content....try coming with somethin a lil bit more original y'know.......your vocab could be upped....work on your rhyme scheme.....anyway an aight drop.....4/10

this was nice street lang which i've heard a million and a half time should've thrown some vocab up in here for real girl, but over all you mades it decent doe so i respect that for real