Braille Sunrise
 

woke up to an alarm going off steadily beeping
sat with legs hanging off the side of bed, weeping
I was blind now..emotions creeping, im weak
my daughter helped me stand, I touched her cheek
she said, " good morning dad. Did u have sweet dreams?"
I replied, " Yes I had a wonderful night it seems"
my heart tearing at the seams, I wanted to see her face
she sat me down to readwith haste, an embrace
of her arms made me feel warm and empty
her mom died last year, my daughter is tempting
my daughter exempting me with my walk, her name Stacy
thinking of raping my own daughter..is it crazy?
god made me go blind, a snakes spit in my eye
called for help, at least I tried, but I began to cry
I felt the tears but it was really slime dripping
daughter came to save me, time slipping
now 2 years later wife dead and im pleased
she drunk some wine with poison, my family still feeds
maybe I'm mentally diseased, but I dont care
reading braille and hearing her brush her hair
thinking was rare, cuz i could only think of madness
daughter came out and asked if I had this
a book in braille she said, and asked me to read
my anger was too impossible to feed..
I grabbed her hair and brung her down to the table
and I choked her since I was most utterly able
she stopped breathing and I spread a wild smile
got on top of my daughter for a long while
I went outside sun coming up, I didnt want to hurt her
but then I read in the sunrise, Braille explained..Diagnosis Murder


I used this in a battle on a diff. site tell me wut'cha think cuz she didnt show lol

this was good, imagery and emotion were very good, vocab was good, keep it up man

this was good, imagery and emotion were very good, vocab was good, keep it up man

LOL ^^ u hella just pasted haha..ok ill get some shortly..I only need 2 right?

lol damn! i was readin it like :O sick fuck! but i really liked the twist at the end, i like ur writing style, keep it up! oh and RTF link in my sig plz!

^^ ok ill hit it up in a second... http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=201949 theres my link lol

hmmm this was an o.k attempt....i was a bit disappointed coz although the topic was a creative one i felt that you didn't expand it enough......upp the vocab a little....some words were just too simple....nice emotion however....i felt that was your strongest point in this drop

ayo man holla at REALITY CHECK HOMIE FOR A DEAL FOR AND CONTRACT!!!!!!!!!!GO TO THE FORUM OR SOME SHIT OM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

holla at my OM http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=201804

and http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=201737

RTF

this was alright though man u could elevate homie just PM me for the deal on reality check

dogg this was hottt

thanks man..upping for more feedback please

whoa...@ the story line...yu told the story pretty well...some good imagery...it coulda have been a lil deeper....but, then again...that probably woulda went into thing too much...and made it boring....


of her arms made me feel warm and empty
her mom died last year, my daughter is tempting

^thats some perverted and sick shit....

i say, well done...even though i was creeped out...but yu put this together nycely

lol yeah I wanted it to be a lil scary but im glad to have quotables lol

I could blow this apart in our battle RIE1 ;)

Luckly I no showed :p

lol sure.. haha and u keep getting my name wrong lol its RILE1

Who cares.....Shit.........

haha I dont lol...but yeah upping for feedback peeps....

upping for more feedback come on people

I liked this one more than the other ones... Still doing your thing with the imagery and story... I liked this one, intertaining... i didnt mind readin it, lol...

check out "Defying The Odds" in my sig...

ok I did already lol more feedback please

upping this for more feedback come on folks

dang u guys...upping this peeps

awwwww come on ppl can i please get some feedback

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=202674

upping this...come on people leave some feedback

shit was off the hook homey nice story telling captured m eon this one

cool thanks man...hopefully I can get some more feedback lol

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=202958

upping this..... u people need to leave some damn feedback

i liked this a lot man props to you :thumbsup: EXELLENT flow man i loved it structure nothing to complain about.....Up ya vocab a bit but ur story telling and imagery blew all of that away very good man..keep elavating 8/10 rtf if u can on any of my oms

ok thanks man...hopefully now ppl will start feedbacking lol