|
Death Row
Confused trapped in a sensless state of mind One of a kind cant be defined running out of time Sentenced ta 2 years on death row its set so Why not die now end my life now just let go Set free of the demons put my life ta peace Not worth living knowing no chance of release Life cut short dying is my constant thought My life is coming to a stop just cuz I was caught Trapped behind these bars for my last site of life No reason to complain no reason to put up a fight The pain will end soon as the line gets shorter I have no set bail thanks to the court order Death is a heavy sentence get you thinking a lot How life can come to an end then ur life is forgot Im not proud of what I did or glad that it happened Jail had got me thinkin common sence has snapped in This cell that im trapped in has got outsiders laughin The day of my death has come settle me down with rum People pay to see my death, seeing me die for fun? Down to my last breath strapped in ready for death As I replay the memories of how I got in this mess They insert the poision I feel it entering my body I have no other thoughts other than I truly am sorry *STOPS BREATHING IS NOW DEAD* |
|
wow..... im actually impressed
really felt emotion and had great imagery i felt like i was in prison with him and i was there when he got killed damn.. 8/10.. best yet by far.. keep it up |
^^thanks man much appreciated fo reall still uppin for more feed
|
still uppin for proper feed...dont sleep on this people
|
yo dont sleep fam, drop some feed!
|
Ayo return favour on my piece ight??
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...883#post2386883 well ur piece, Yeah was a nice lil piece, def got ur flow down i feel though u could enhance it by throwing mad multis that aint mono syllabic all around the piece instead of just some normal multis nah mean?? Sentenced ta 2 years on death row its set so Why not die now end my life now just let go Fav bar of the piece Def some nice emotion and imagery in perhaps some similes coukd enhance it 2 ayo respect 1 |
much appreciated^^still uppin
|
upping...........god
|
finally lol thanks man :thumbup: .....still uppin!
|
no doubt no doubt still uppin
|
this was good, imagery and emotion were really good, flow and structure were good, was really feelin this man, keep em coming
|
thanks man appreciate it!!
|
uppin.....................paleez
|
word, a little one-dimensional, but effective in its own perspective.....gets the message across.......little dry and basic, but it wasn't bad.......simple, yet strong.....i say, just work on creativity and expand your vocabulary horizon.....word, keep up man, it was a good read.
|
thanks man^^ much appreciated.....still uppin i guess
|
Damn this some of the hottest shit i ever seen from you,nice concept,i liked the vocab and the way it flowed.
fav line The day of my death has come settle me down with rum People pay to see my death, seeing me die for fun? very nice N.P 8.5/10 |
ayyo man, thanks alot really appreciate it :thumbup:
|
damn mayne gotta say diz was hot as fire, str8 dope structure, vocab, meta's eva piece in it was my fav cuz u came wit it & i felt tha emotion, alot of originality, very creative, & jus keeps u focused & u neva get bored readin it at all fa sho ight keep writing
RtF: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=206267 |
thanks fam, im feelin the love uppin i guess....
|
Agree with Drakel, it may not have been the most creative piece I have ever read but you put your message across in a powerful way. The vocabulary might be upped here and there, you had the flow down though and the structure was cool. The emotion was definitely there, raw and very strong, kept simple yet effective. Might work on a bit more vivid imagery here and there but overall it was solid.
Keep it up! |
appreciate that feed^^ still uppin fa sho .........
|
as everyone else has said, it was simple but effective. imagery was great, i could imagine myself as the criminal. well done man, nice drop.
|
Damn Hommie! Nice Open Mic Here I Was Feeling The Imagery And Emotion. Structure Was Really Decent Man Keep It Going. Rhyme Scheme Was Cool I Saw A Few Multi's In Here. You Got Some Talent Keep It Up.
Return The Favor Vote In My Sig Holla Back |
i think i already did rtf.......
|
bump............
|
....this peice surprised me.Good shit here..Flowed stayed good throughout the whole thing.Vocab could be upped a notch.was a lil bland .I Liked the concept..the whole jail thing is sumtin I could relate to.LoL....Imjery/emotion..shit was good.Just upp ur vocab.
Overall-8.5 |
^like to see im still gettin feed lol, i appreciate ur feed......uppin i guess
|
good solid piece right here; imagery was awesome; structure n flow were on point in dis one as well; da shorter da better lol; keep up da good work....1
|
it was a good drop man u got an imagination lol its palmer
|
^yea, this was dropped mad long ago.............ive changed my name since.........thanks i guess....uppin
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:56 AM. |