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Tears of an Angel...
this has been a long time in the making, just laziness, i guess....decided to finish it....flow isn't all there, thats because i just wanted to finish it, so do not comment on that, but otherwise....enjoy
-------------------------- the relentless agony, in the skies of the night witness in horror....................an angel's life the next time you decide something.....think again.... instinct and individuality are the keys to perseverence in this oncoming age of ignorance... they open many doors....but how will you choose to use them? The Tears of an Angel omniscient creatures; a divine glow embracing us all magnificent features; sublime hope when facing the fall proficicent teachers; demonstrating compassion with soft elegance sufficicent preacher; engaging fashion subdues any thoughts hell extends but tears still drop, angelic purity is descending to earth opening their souls, devoting eternity to ones only pretending to hurt offering re-birth, yet existence only slips, shifting to worsen but each divine drop is reserved for a different person to live and immerse in, but the heavens are in a constant storm raining down to relieve pain, shedding light but the intent is ignored torn from their pedestals, by grimey hands searching for answers born to be meddlesome, because control is slimey, with no hope to master just to glimpse in the sky, something mankind could never fathom or bring but the weight of all the world's greed has shattered their wings to aid with troubles; mockery at its best when everyone fears them full people have the power of change, but they'd rather see a miracle an angel's assistance is blessings, instead they're taken for granted to guide you along life's path, but they end up betrayed or trampled they're the heirarchs of guidance, not founders of obsessions they choir remarks to your conscience softly, counseling direction not to answer every question, or else they'd be mangled from evey angle its like they have life on a stick, and put infront of your face to dangle let your freewill do the choosing, not abusing their presence it seems the essence of life, has shifted to the need of dependance we need to get back on track, or mankind will surely fail we think of angels as the conductor, when their purely the rail that friend who always listens, that hand when your spirit needs a lift why would they need to give any more, when you have enough gifts evolve to full potential, give it all you got; face and train your fears but remember to notice the rain...stop and embrace the angel's tears ____________________________________________ feeeed 2 3 4 5 |
bump..............
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this was a really nice drop, very enjoyable to read, you came quite complex with the vocab and i think it was this that made this piece seem deeper....nice emotion throughout....i loved the ending
evolve to full potential, give it all you got; face and train your fears but remember to notice the rain...stop and embrace the angel's tears ^^^my favourite lines.....9/10.....keep dropping |
yeup, yeup.....
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Very Impressive,I was really enjoing this piece.
It was deep and you could feel the Emotion The Vocab was on point and i was feelong the rythim and Flow First time i seen your topicals and know i see why you so cocky 9.5/10 RTF http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=206190 |
damn folk i gotta say i like ur complexity on diz here, structure was on point, alot of meta's, & real good creativity overall i like ur concept & tha topic was hittin keep writing fa sho
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damn man, very emotional felt it times ten.......i give it 10/10....good concept good structure nice flow vocab and tha multis was tight keep it up!
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by the way, rtf on my sig links please
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favours returned
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<--- Will leave feed if your punk ass gets on AIM and stays, and talks, and is sexy.
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wow nice drop....................good emotion flowed well erm good shit 9/10
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bump................
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holy shit man i had no clue you could write this good, imagery is very good this piece is so creative omg, i know now you could beat me in a topical battle:thumbup:, anywho you had such good vocabulary omg, your flow was actually pretty good except for the end but thats cool man just if you wouldn't have rished it maybe, stucture was pretty good but what i really liked about this one was how you choose to use multiples like almost every line and you had a good rhyme scheme and some good emotion, damn man keep writin like this.
think you could rtf in my piece Frustrated Intensions links in the sig 1 |
word, no problem
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this was good, flow seemed good to me, emotion and imagery were good, good use of metta's, vocab was good, nice topic man, keep it up
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Excellent concept first of all, the ending reminds me of a piece I once wrote.
You worked it out very nicely, speaking on several aspects of being an angel and how they are perceived by mortals. The imagery was great, you used clear pictures to describe the theory in your words. The emotion was there as well, focusing on the tears and the pain of the angels, how they are not appreciated and such. The vocab was on point, had a good complexity to it all, flow was good! Favor is returned... |
uppin....................
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bump this......
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Emotion was dope..Loved it
Complexity was nice....Loved it Flow was Good..Loved it Vocab Was nice...Loved it Overall....9.5/10....DOPE shit man..keep it up... |
thanks buddy...
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my OM will be better :shoot:
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uppin....................................
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Quote:
shut up bitch..... |
bumpin..........
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good flow, good read and good vocab ill give it a 9/10
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Prettty sweet dude... 8/10 no doubt
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