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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
08-26-05, 03:47 AM
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#1
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in your system
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Tears of an Angel...
IP: 9E2F CDE8
this has been a long time in the making, just laziness, i guess....decided to finish it....flow isn't all there, thats because i just wanted to finish it, so do not comment on that, but otherwise....enjoy
-------------------------- the relentless agony, in the skies of the night witness in horror....................an angel's life the next time you decide something.....think again.... instinct and individuality are the keys to perseverence in this oncoming age of ignorance... they open many doors....but how will you choose to use them? The Tears of an Angel omniscient creatures; a divine glow embracing us all magnificent features; sublime hope when facing the fall proficicent teachers; demonstrating compassion with soft elegance sufficicent preacher; engaging fashion subdues any thoughts hell extends but tears still drop, angelic purity is descending to earth opening their souls, devoting eternity to ones only pretending to hurt offering re-birth, yet existence only slips, shifting to worsen but each divine drop is reserved for a different person to live and immerse in, but the heavens are in a constant storm raining down to relieve pain, shedding light but the intent is ignored torn from their pedestals, by grimey hands searching for answers born to be meddlesome, because control is slimey, with no hope to master just to glimpse in the sky, something mankind could never fathom or bring but the weight of all the world's greed has shattered their wings to aid with troubles; mockery at its best when everyone fears them full people have the power of change, but they'd rather see a miracle an angel's assistance is blessings, instead they're taken for granted to guide you along life's path, but they end up betrayed or trampled they're the heirarchs of guidance, not founders of obsessions they choir remarks to your conscience softly, counseling direction not to answer every question, or else they'd be mangled from evey angle its like they have life on a stick, and put infront of your face to dangle let your freewill do the choosing, not abusing their presence it seems the essence of life, has shifted to the need of dependance we need to get back on track, or mankind will surely fail we think of angels as the conductor, when their purely the rail that friend who always listens, that hand when your spirit needs a lift why would they need to give any more, when you have enough gifts evolve to full potential, give it all you got; face and train your fears but remember to notice the rain...stop and embrace the angel's tears ____________________________________________ feeeed 2 3 4 5
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE Last edited by Drakel : 08-26-05 at 12:54 PM. |
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08-26-05, 12:12 PM
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#2
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in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
bump..............
__________________
this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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08-26-05, 12:33 PM
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#3
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**the council**
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IP: 2E65 2D46
this was a really nice drop, very enjoyable to read, you came quite complex with the vocab and i think it was this that made this piece seem deeper....nice emotion throughout....i loved the ending
evolve to full potential, give it all you got; face and train your fears but remember to notice the rain...stop and embrace the angel's tears ^^^my favourite lines.....9/10.....keep dropping
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08-26-05, 09:06 PM
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#4
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in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
yeup, yeup.....
__________________
this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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08-26-05, 09:37 PM
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#5
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GeNeRaL
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IP: 05EA A558
Very Impressive,I was really enjoing this piece.
It was deep and you could feel the Emotion The Vocab was on point and i was feelong the rythim and Flow First time i seen your topicals and know i see why you so cocky 9.5/10 RTF http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=206190 |
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08-26-05, 10:03 PM
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#6
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Middle Weight
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IP: 8A05 210E
damn folk i gotta say i like ur complexity on diz here, structure was on point, alot of meta's, & real good creativity overall i like ur concept & tha topic was hittin keep writing fa sho
__________________
 Choose words carefully when you address me
You ain't gotta like me, but you're gonna respect me (Or else) or else you get wet like a jigsknee Take ten of these and live, that'll impress me |
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08-26-05, 11:23 PM
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#7
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A Life Of Chryme
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IP: 3240 794D
damn man, very emotional felt it times ten.......i give it 10/10....good concept good structure nice flow vocab and tha multis was tight keep it up!
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A LIFE OF CHRYME |
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08-26-05, 11:24 PM
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#8
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A Life Of Chryme
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IP: 3240 794D
by the way, rtf on my sig links please
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A LIFE OF CHRYME |
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08-27-05, 11:39 AM
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#9
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in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
favours returned
__________________
this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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08-27-05, 11:59 AM
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#10
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Just searching.
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IP: 3240 794D
<--- Will leave feed if your punk ass gets on AIM and stays, and talks, and is sexy.
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08-27-05, 01:18 PM
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#11
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Nt Your Average
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IP: 2075 AD82
wow nice drop....................good emotion flowed well erm good shit 9/10
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OYD MAFIA
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08-28-05, 03:33 AM
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#12
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in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
bump................
__________________
this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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08-28-05, 04:14 AM
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#13
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The Paragraph President
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IP: 2372 BC06
holy shit man i had no clue you could write this good, imagery is very good this piece is so creative omg, i know now you could beat me in a topical battle
 , anywho you had such good vocabulary omg, your flow was actually pretty good except for the end but thats cool man just if you wouldn't have rished it maybe, stucture was pretty good but what i really liked about this one was how you choose to use multiples like almost every line and you had a good rhyme scheme and some good emotion, damn man keep writin like this.think you could rtf in my piece Frustrated Intensions links in the sig 1
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08-28-05, 01:53 PM
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#14
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in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
word, no problem
__________________
this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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08-29-05, 12:33 AM
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#15
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Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
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IP: C81F 1BBC
this was good, flow seemed good to me, emotion and imagery were good, good use of metta's, vocab was good, nice topic man, keep it up
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 i come from a time when you earned respect, for your rhyme and the way you made words connect, not the money that you made or the girls you sexed, a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet Mars Ill
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