"Rainy Days" ft. Makaveli Trained
 

OMG dawg a real nice OM.......lots of emotion in it with some real nice vocab......but the only thing wrong with this is the struture which is not just on-point!!!!

8/10 a nice collab dawgs

rise.............................................. .......

This piece was dope in my opinion. The imagery was conveyed really good and the emotion in it was great. Also i think it flowed well between each verse. But the structure needs a lil bit more work on, but u should be able to do that with the utmost of ease.

But overall i give u 8.5/10

lol......i think maybe they mean the structure between both of our verses like how mine is stretched more than yours

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...5059post3185059
lol, now someone says that the structure was the best part of the piece
im so confoooosed.......

I've only read Mak's part since he asked me to. Hmm to be honest, it's ok, but your rhyme scheme and vocabulary are too simple. Too stretched so doesn't flow too well. Other than that the actual subject matter is not bad.
Sorry I'm pretty critical of topicals cos I read and translate a lot of serious rap texts plus I write a lot in general (but not topical songs hehe)

^^ Lol

Anyways Nice Verse From Both I Can Really Picture The Intro That Really Set The Whole Piece Of And It Was A Good Start

I Can Tell How You Did The Structure Nice Way To Do Somthing Diffrent I Read It Useing The Periods And It Flowed Good

Hook Is Good I Like The T.V. Part And The Choruse Comes In Nicely

This Would Be Real Tight On Audio Mak Would Just Haft To Spit Fast Cause Is Lines Are Longer

Overall Nice Drop R.T.F. On Real Life Click It In My Sig

That was real nice good job nice flow nice everthing

rise.....................

nice man was a deep piece, flow was tight, u should make an audio with it or something

Dope drop by both, very sick verses by both, emotion was one point through out the verse..all parts were dope, ...keep ya shit up peeps..

CS reppin once again!

Atty, I can appreciate your attempt at keeping it original, and it worked (I had to read your parts twice to make it fluid) but I think your normal style would have made it simpler to read for others. Overall I enjoyed the content and the topic the most. Multies were pretty good too.

Mak, First drop i've read from you, and I was impressed, glad you're onboard with C.S. I thought you had a strong emotion (both of you did) but your verses seemed simpler to me (the vocab) the flow was on point though.

As for the structure, again it wasnt a big deal, it just takes a bit more concentration to appreciate it.

Top-notch collab chrymies, keep it up!

P.S. Atty go ahead and drop a feed on 'Blurred Vision' in my Sig.
Thnx Fukr.

Oh yah, 8.3/10.

10/10 No doubt this was a very good pice.....
[[Verse One: Makaveli Trained]]
An unwanted amount of leisure time…..it's Spring and here's the dejavu
Medalling with inanimate wall fixtures because there's nothing more to do
Standing motionless, staring out the window hoping those angry clouds would move
No one outside, no friends to hang with, bored as fuck and sleepy too
These unfortunate circumstances, there's better ways the day could be spent
Desperation shows, when you find yourself doing homework on the weekend (lol)
By now I've seen 106 and Park twice and memorized the top ten
You can yell and scream all you want…I just wish God would stop cryin
9/10 Verse Good Job Makaveli Trained
... A Child Lost In A Sea Of Nature's Fury

[[Verse Two: Atticus]]
Sit in the dark, a windows black heart
rings rope about this homes last art.

Starts with a drizzle before a damp skies
shutter captures the devils mark and cries.
^^^^ One of my favorite lines
A few drops to a tissue until a cloud is impaled.
Satan rams a thorn in its side until the mighty winds waild.
The wind rips through the valleys picking up
every little alley to bevel the sick deviled tunes whipping the
clouds ease. Now these titans battle, colliding down
upon each ground. Dont even notice the cold dieing sounds.

[[Chorus x2]]
TV: "...Please, Just A 5 Dollars Could Help Save These Victims Of Hurricane Katrina"

Please, in the rath of land and sea, im trapt.
Led me your hand... Pull me out this quick sand at last.
Please, stand for me because I can no longer pray,
Save and save, but my pennies could have never fathemd this rainy day.
^^^ I liked how you put words together 8/10
...Swimming In Fear

[[Verse Three: Atticus]]
The winds continue a quick assault to hault <----Dident understand the first line.
the devils waltz, but evils slick. Blumes tall
his stance as his hands grasp at the sky.
Never once the eye of heaven dry of black cries <-------Deep Words
throughout the entire event. My entire home swept
from my feet as these extreme hope's decent.
"Stood there in awe. Jaw long, watching this book
of the almighty written in whips upon this roof".
^^^^^ Loved the wordplay 7/10
As then... a freedom graced my face as wet touched me from
the feet up as inocence is casualty in the wars of land an sea... Katrina.
---------^^^^^^^ Verse 8/10 good visonary
"Please, Please Will You Help Me?

[[Verse Four: Makaveli Trained]]
Nothing on tv, my girl wont even pick up her fucking phone…..come on Jen
It'll be over soon says my parents, okay…..how bout telling me when
Feels like I have no life, can't stop movin, what happened to my discipline
I should be doing something important, instead pop in a cd and listen to Ren
Tired by noon, meant to take a short rest and find myself asleep by 8 pm
Shit, next time I'm goin to the club, you can bet I'll never do this crap again
Yep, another day wasted, look what the rain did, I didn't even see my friends
But that's nothing at all compared to what Katrina did to New Orleans
^^^^^^^^^^-----Good up to date topical

Anyways this is a 9/10, Good emotion, Visonary,storytelling and a all around good collab, good work and keep it up....Rtf

good verse by both people flow was tight i liked it

props to both ur flow is abd in text liek mine mak but when we pick up the mic........
anyways props to oth pretty good ive seen better from both though
uppppppppppp

Shits real nice man

Nice Shit man and Really Deep and Emotional and Im glad to see Makaveli Trained back on the scene again :thumbup: