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The Uncommon Soul
Written by Valor May 2007:.......
.....another creation of my remains a sibling of strength the scorching blood through their veins sharing personality with thought's iv came and gone lived high, but yet to conquer all the end promises the rebirth in which ill redirect myself to earth after life's rotation, my soul marches on through struggle death remains my starting point bleeding tear's, ripped muscle's never gave up on greed breathed life's angels with a smirk the expression sits heavily upon my lonesome shadow that lurks tip toe i go, whispering my eulogy for the breathing, surpassing my soul, tormented by the devils advocate fixated with joy, for life's progression ''mourn not now, for i am fond elsewhere in which the sun is my smile, cherish it live everyday your own, ignore the demon's sprint the opposite direction, towards freedom |
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upping...............
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wow i need to mod poetic scriptures
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haha we need a new mod here even though im new to RV i still can work shit....atleast I think....well whatever.
This poem was a preety weird peice and hard to understand at some points like first off in the begin check this pattern Ill break down the bars .....another creation of my remains a sibling of strength the scorching blood through their veins "Whos Vens" sharing personality with thought's iv came and gone lived high, but yet to conquer all "confusing but ok" the end promises the rebirth in which ill redirect myself to earth "Nah didnt like that part and then it ended" Like that Its hard to conplait it together but it seemed like it could become a very nice peice good work keep at it though |
it makes plenty of since dude....i mean this is for a mature audience of poets who understand this level of skill....not to be cocky or try in persuade n shit....but this is good work i feel....
i know plenty writers here who's understand it but thanks for the feedback anyways bro i appreciate it alot |
im a hall of famer....and im only respected with 1 thing of feedback ? wow....
so much for me getting a chance to actually rtf's lazy newbs |
my bad for sleepin on this man just now seeing it lol.....real good though it was complexed and deep....i dont think it was weird i understood it.....but u did jump around from one thing to another a little bit at the beginning....still after the beginning it pretty much stayed on point....keep it up 9/10 ~1~
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This was coo it couldve had sum help on it but over all i likd it!
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This was cool! I like wat u did to it and the way the letterin is to!
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feedback these day's is rediculous
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