"Mother's Crooked Smile"
Cellophane pearls Wrap the sidewalk Tall in fallen worlds. Concrete gasps Grip at a swinging Pendulums pass. The sands of us Bound by blood. Each droplet expired To become one Of piece in attire. The earth draped In our brittle fingers; Blistering gaze Kisses the king's Last clean palm, Upon its shattering. Our masterpiece, Dropped to the sky. Fallen from the eye Of Satan to street. The earth cries From the bowels Of porcelain smiles. As the tears dry; Dust is swallowed Upon a devils Settlement signed. Forever higher Falls evolution. Confusion tires Yet, burden of cracks Surpass solution. And here we stand: We're knee deep In a gift for land. Given to Mother, Yet not even she Can be its lover. As thin ice breaks, Becomes puddle; we stand in the way: Ankle deep... We're dammed it seems. Troubles born; Bastard by fearing Fathers scorned. The lines are drawn; Mother's crooked smiles wild ends nearing Every last dawn, Eclipsing the sun. Mans greatest mistake. Wrapped the earth Within selfish pace. Taped Mother's mouth; Then crossed over The bridge into rain. Spared wet feet By exchanging, damp theory. Blind minds race For perspective; The bats fold Their ears in. And here sings the ignorant ode to reversed thinking. Now the selfish Walk their cracks... Eyes: black circles Mark a Devils pact, As they circle The cracks exhale; Gasping again... But then to Inhale. |
This was dope. Fuckin dope.
Such condensed language.. It was completely packed with emotion and meaning. The theme was ill... Im pretty sure I picked up what the poem was about and all that but I could be wrong. The last two stanzas were really nicely worded. The bats fold Their ears in. And here sings the ignorant ode to reversed thinking. That bit was ill. |
dope shit atty. :thumbup:
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Thanks for the feedback. OMB, I just reopened your poem, I'm going to try and reply to it today if I get some time later in the day.
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Dam fam's this was well dope, it was a really good read I like this bit:
Now the selfish Walk their cracks... Eyes: black circles Mark a Devils pact, As they circle The cracks exhale; Gasping again... But then to Inhale. Dopeness stay up fams and keep writing. 1~ |
wow this was ill!......
imagery was amazing....the metaphors are still dancing around in my head....i loved it...the natrual rythm tha was created was amazing it gluided smoothly from word to word.... great drop! |
Nice metas in this one... you imagery was mazing aswell as your emotion and once again with the short lines and stanza... mabye i should switch to it? *nah to much work to transition* but very nice piece here man... *nominated*
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