Everyday Problems in Everyday Life
 

Im struggling with the problems of everyday life
Cant deal with it,I want to end the everyday strife
I have an itching buzz to end this feeling of pain
Lurking is tha killer waiting for his chance to slain
Then plain as day the haters tore him limb from limb
Suddenly the light to heaven wasnt seeming so dim
That calamity put me into a great state of depression
My life was caving in and i cant escape tha compression
I couldnt give up, didnt want to wind up on a flat line
Why waste this great life and this even greater mind
It feels like im trapped and cant get through this phase
Where im in a craze...trying to find a way out this maze
Tears of blood come pouring from out my eye when i cry
Thats how i figured i was gonna die...From being bled dry
I wasnt liked or cared for so like a typical child, i felt i failed
Worked my way up,triumphed over them all and i prevailed

Just kinda came to me so i added it to tha 10 lines i had before so i just kinda added tha last 6 lines to it...Not great but its tha first OM i have done in awhile...So leave feed rate it if you want...Word...1

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=222811

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=222834


^^Those are tha links to tha OMs i left feed on

it's ok, you should add some multies, mayeb some metaphors in there as well. your flows ok, so not much is needed on it and so is your structure....

Thanks for tha feed fam...Uppin for more...word...1

This was alright, but nothing too big. Like skillz said u should add more multies into it, makin it flow much better. The topic, in my opinion is overused, but thats just me. But i think u did an ok job on it. Not too bad. Please rtf on anything in my sig, thanks. Peace.

Thanks for tha feed fam...Ill rtf in a few minutes...word...uppin for more...1

this was kinda good flow was nice, some multis in there that help and i thought the topic was decent, your apporuch was aight i thought you sorda kinda fell off in certin areas but pick it back up nice drop like to see more

RTF i got 3 drop that need feed back on them holla at one of them plez!..

Upping for more feedback on this...word...1

Upping for feed on this...Please people...word...1

There were some multies but theyre could be some more in the piece. Overall I think it was pretty good. You can improve by making a bit more complex scheme. I hope you decided to explore more topics and extrapolate your ideas more. This was pretty short.