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Weathered The Storm ft Laureate,MakeShyft,Paranoid,The Great White,Illus'Artis
Different Styles Here Hope You
Readers Like The Blend. Laureate I sat trapped in the back of Satan’s left pocket. My soul just an artifact, years since I lost it. Tossed it and labeled it as expired and faithless. Never conformed and conserved, so I jus wasted. Demons surrounded me, saturated my flesh. As bloody hail corrupted the good I had left. Despair and lost cause rained down from the sky. As demise slowly climbed and hope declined. Lightning was crimson and fueled the fire. As my body lay rotten from sinful desire. MakeShyft
The sun burnt black, and the air lacked oxygen. That feeling is back, the storm gonna box me in. Clouds collided, and rocks of ice flew sky low. Our love is put on hold, as the storm goes idol I’m feelin wack, as the lightning brightly cracked. My heart unexact, that tension is what we lack. Created that love-lost packt, yea I miss it too. Weathered the storm when my lips were kissin you. Two minds become one, now together reborn. One beautiful mind, in the eye of the storm. Paranoid Electrical clocks hit my brain, unable to fit my name. I lay out excuses, so I follow Simon as I’m to fry fame. Why do I generate, the lights are out? I feel so terrible. All the rain, this weather made me steel the horrible. So I picture the lost scripture, forcin the wind at night. My mind lost, my crime tossed, sourcin a hint at sight. Taken all the torched flame, spiritually un described. God on hand, he was destroyed from the un subscribed. But at least I touched the storm, so warm I had charm. Ring the alarm, I’ll buzz the intelligence of bad harm. The Great White
Look sweetly little one, behold the aftermath... Water covers all... mixed with bodies and broken glass.. The government points fingers, to the right and to the left... fault matters little though to those that traversed the river of death.. Look at a nations failings, gaze at the twisted smile of fate.. many stranded without food, so they starve, and they await.. Either their creator or flashes from cameras in their face.. "ma'am can you tell us, really transpired that day?".. From here you can see it all, from here the visage takes form.. Above and beyond the clouds ..here you'll weather the storm.. Illus' Artis I'm spiritually in a war against a diabolical form. Purged and torn. Informed my physical is warned. Restricted, predicted obstacles, optics still shocked. Let downs. Mind trapped in a box. Getting mocked. I've been through it and more, stand, I still through it all. God's strength, tackled seasons Winter through the Fall. Due to you, I bleed through objectives that abused, me physically, mentally and spiritual. Mental arose , allude ish that dooms the frail individuals. Was formed scorned, literally thrown in and Weathered The Storm. Ysdat As I grasp my life’s last letter written in bloody water franticly re-arrange my position to steer clear of a anguished slaughter prevail a pause,not wanting to lay a hand out of place evasivly release my anger dashing for safety without a visible trace A unknown critical face arrives from the dark misty road violent hand reaches for my neck in attempt to make my mind corrode Pulling away I understand I cant escape a non physical form realization of my destiny I see there's no escaping the visible storm |
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die .
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die .
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die.
Nah I wont let it. First and foremost I would like to say: excellant job the lot of you. Laureate I believe your vocab could increase a bit, however your piece did not suffer from it, but it would have done it more justice. I liked the way you went about the topic. the flow was almost really good, but I found a few bumps in the road, so-to-say. Overall it was a good drop. MakeShyft I enjoyed yours the most, I felt it had the better flow of the 6 pieces. Your imagery was on par, here were my favorite lines: "Clouds collided, and rocks of ice flew sky low. Our love is put on hold, as the storm goes idol" The only thing I think you could have improved on would have been better vocab. Paranoid To me your piece felt unfinished, I cant really say why. However I did enjoy it. As I read it I felt like yours was more freestyle. know what i'm sayin? I believe you could have upped your vocab abit, but it wasnt a big deal. nice flow, but again it felt unfinished. The Great White Nice man. I enjoyed the plot alot. yours was the most different, on topic drop in my opinion. your lines didnt match up very well, however it didnt seem to hinder the flow much at all. nice use of vocab. keep it up. Illus' Artis Eh, might be just me, but I didnt like your style very much. your flow was good as was your vocab, but the way the lines went down and rhymed didnt appeal to me very much, however that is just an Opinion, don't take it for gold. Ysdat I can see what you mean about starting your lines with certain types of words, it does bring more imagery to a piece. I enjoyed your drop and I think you could have improved it with more multies, maybe a tad more vocab. still, it was a well done piece. Overall Nicely done. I didnt so much enjoy reading 6 drops on the same topic, even though it was a collab. that is just me though. I believe you all had excellant pieces, all very well written though a few improvements could have been made as a whole: -All 6 pieces ultimately unrolling into one main piece. -Hints of advanced writing techniques. Symbolism, etc... they really create a much more powerful message. Like here...you all got your points across in a good way...but it could be much better. Nice job guys. Keep it up! rtf -Mentalz |
Oh and I really thought the layout of all 6 pieces was nice.
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Thanks for that feed bro.
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This waz hott all ya'll had good flow and structure
Nice drop |
^wow you gave me such an insight to this drop, your post taught me everything I ever needed to know about knowing stuff,and stuff.
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Ok.. Laurete and Illus Artis had the best verses in this. They kept me most attentive and i enjoyed them most. Overall this was an unreal collab though, I loved the title, thought everyone's verse suited it. I also loved the rhyme scheme, structure and flow of each verse. I felt that having all verses relativley the same in that department left the overall collab that much better. Nice drop fellas.
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Damn you're really gettin slept on here.
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Quote:
Now ima give you mad props for leavin good feed. thanks a lot man, i've been waitin for someone to lay out feed on each person. fuck yea, props uppin. http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2454444 |
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