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::::::Times Past::::::
Times past . . From the days of the house with little money n bare cupboards….. Shallow thought as a youngin,.. mouthy and ya I was stubborn…. Was it due to my child hood ….raised by a poor single mother… I wonder, but excuses are there if you look.. but not my father .. Why bother…! Cuz these answers must be in my subconscious.. Should I conversate with myself… nah I much to damn cautious What stops us.? Really, cause I rarely speak without thinking clearly People always say “did you hear me”…. I say yes but just barely Its certainly scary, cuz one day we supposed to be fathers n marry My future dimmins quick. So someone please say you hear me.. Sure, most want to be wealthy; some care more about being healthy But ever think of those poor souls, which whisper please shelter, me Go ahead, take things for granted, n when there lost.. ”panic” So used to the life you lead… you’re western civilizations fanatic Consume more then your means, …cause even the blind can see Were not worthy of time, … let alone our lessons from memories . . I knew of a person once, saw him as a younger version my son What began as a vision, became a choice between me and his mom High stakes Let my past repeat itself or change his future heartache For gods sake, I look at every angle and its still a hard choice to make Thoughts progressed in an instant, I could be his dad, he’s still an infant But if it….. Works-out that he despises me, Could I sit there in-stance A mans young choice…. His own to make, change the life of another Or hope that his is like mine n raises him like I was by my own mother . . All ive stated is true, sit with these words & still don’t know what to do But my offer has expired, with grief and god I can’t even blame you Im to blame, cause it was my gift that bought those tickets just the same But only if I would’ve known,……. because that plain ………………………………………..nev er made its way back home . . RIP . . STORY MORAL: debate on a choice to long and the choice may not be there when you come to your decision |
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Well this was an iiight peice..
The structure was good , wordplay and vocab was good, You had nice imagery , and nice emotions... Good Feelin'....This was a really nice topic.. I was really feeling it , nice job daz.. Keep it up , |
^thanx fam.........fuckers stop sleepin on this..lol
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Come on Daz.. do you think anyone is going to sleep on this? I mean, everyone who is anyone knows when you drop it's hot.
*drop it like its hotttt* (LoL) Sorry, random. But yeah, as always what I see you love multi's and it makes it flow so good. You know what I mean? I learned alot about you in this piece! I like the topic because alot of people would second think about droping something like this. I mean, its personal. Well, yeah, over all, 7.8/10 Nice OM.. Sweft |
^^um, lol,....rofl, sweft, it was just a topic i wrote on...
i mean some of it relates personally but its not a true story. but if you thought it was then the topic was written well i guess.. |
hey i really liked this piece, i even quoted it and put it as my away message....i really liked your plot and i can relate to this in some ways.....everything was good on this piece, structure, flow, etc......i like this a lot 9/10
return the favor, link is in my sig |
pretty decent stuff Daz
niggars dont wanna see a rhyme with reason....lol, lazy bastards aint leavin shit for you on this.....its dope, flow was good, good imagery an vocab, an petty damn creative...keep up the good work, man.....TC Is all over this place an fuckin niggas in the face lol...i am bored an talkin shit yo, but nice drop 7.5/10 uppin this fam!! |
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