|
The Puppet Theatre
...rhymes sicker than wine, liquor and flickering signs thicker than the bitches behind nukkas's to get my dick in a dime quicker rhyme loosers spend your time as online users trying type like mine when every lines colder than wine coolers I'm used to the hate of music debate lately used to be great, now all the newbs that choose to be fake, hate me.. But see me? I take you on journeys in open mic rapping where as at the apollo whoever was broke you might slap him now it's back to the type, after the hype now where rappers alike, who act up and fight will get striked down fuck opening act scenes for provoking those black teens who show up to the shows more doper than crack fienes Man i'm still in my prime a clone built to it's illest design a chromozone filter to obliterate rhymes frail to the masses rapverse? whos the dopest in text focused to wreck rappers soaked in sucess, and open to threats like upset actors? Cannabarz is a beast, started far from the east to btown the yard his is streets, parted to market is heat you see clown? I wasn't here fooling around like most of you were on RV I was a hard teen rawer than the all of the mardi gras scenes http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=239476 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=239072 |
flow was cool multis could be upped started off with alot then they fell off
lyrically you were cool nothign too speciall id definately say work on multis |
i like your flow i give it a 7.0
|
^
lol, great feedback :/ anyway Willa kinda summed this up i thought the flow was the strength to this drop, multies came and went the content i wasn't feeling a great deal, wasn't any standout lines but you kept the verse rolling with the flow seemed you were tryin to squeeze some extra rhymes in there to, which messed with the grammar a bit stay on it |
yea flow was good but aover all it was kinda wack and alright at the same time
|
^^^another great bit of feedback...
i enjoyed this...started of great, i thought ya use or words was good...favourite bar had to be "I'm used to the hate of music debate lately used to be great, now all the newbs that choose to be fake, hate me"...the multis u had in there were good..still room for improvement, as they wernt consistent all the way thru...still good peice...flowed well man... |
It was a nice drop. Had good flow, pieced well. Some parts lacked compared to others, but weren't bad.
Good shit |
Word appreciate the feedback fammz
|
yeah dude this was a sick flow! keep on it.
|
coo drop plenni 'o' multis at tha start thn not so many i like ur style keep doin yo shit tho
|
ok this was an alright piece i see where you were goin with the multies but some of the were a lot better than others if you follow...the lyrical content was so-so but the flow was alright....i couldn't help but notice a line i found ironic about you talkin bout online users when you were glorifying yourself as a textcee...by all means correct me if im wrong and if i am then my apologies but thats how it looked if ya follow
|
some solid lines in there that got lost in the over-all piece, kinda like some of it was rushed...... you needa stay consistent wit tha whole structure and maybe extend the length of some of your vocab.... the skillz are there they just needed to be used with a little more thought process to polish off tha piece into something more than average... 6.5/10
my fav lines: rapverse? whos the dopest in text focused to wreck rappers soaked in sucess, and open to threats like upset actors? |
wow. opener bar was def. sick. i liked your flow throughout this whole peice. i think you had very good wordplay. rhymescheme was hittin all over the place. Vocabulary was definately goood. just overall a nice peice to read. Good ideas, and well layed out. short, but good.
|
THAT WAS HOT DOG,SO HOW TO POST MY FLOWS RIGHT http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=240492 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=240492
|
Willa's a stupid broad dont listen to her.
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:48 AM. |