valor vs Empire
Battle Rules:
6 - UNLIMITED Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting POETRY BATTLE TOPIC-sexual desire Minimum posts to vote: 500 Check in by: 11-26-04 at 11:07 PM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. Expired, old battle win |
Empire has ACCEPTED this battle on 11-26-04 10:38 PM.
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Valor has ACCEPTED this battle on 11-26-04 10:49 PM.
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Sexuall Desire
that smooth skin with that beautiful body i seem to desire that sexy touch of the hands seem to put out the fire in me, im constantly needing you throughout the night laying in my warm bed playing footsies...to my delight it felt good...and i needed more of that loving..... that fun exciting four play which envolved me and you touching body's i could never resist you, reaching out constantly to hug and kiss you there is no doubt that if i ever lost you i would definately miss you but i can never picture losing your love and the extrordinary sex waking up in the mournig seeing your hair in a mess from me pulling it all night during those hot passionate love sessions i sometimes have fantasies of me and you in public and sex'ing with eachother unconditionally non stop i'd be caressing your body and smooth skin with lotion,and watch your body move in a motion that i yet cannot discribe, i remember when i first met you i felt that vibe ive been hooked on you ever since, use to have wet dreams about me and you making love in the back seat of a car, with the windows steamed and foggy, that love, smile, legs, and body i will always seem to admire to me girl you will always remain my full solid definition of sexuall desire....... |
FOUNTAIN OF DESIRE
As i drink from the well of your passion cool mists soothing my skin cascading accross my senses drowning me in your depths Your taste of sweet honey tantalizing my every nerve while relaxing my every muscle I find myself lost as i swim through your ocean of love as you take me under deep into the waves of your being Your current pulling me closer I can feel your heat melting my soul burning deep within me And i can feel your heat more as its building around me Still i add to the fire until the flames smother us both Until we can no longer breath Until we can no longer hear the thunder but feel the lightening As it strikes the waters of our fountain of desire and the crash of the waters is the voice of longing calling to me.... begging me.... pleading me to test the depths of your need to calm your Fire as it slowly burns you And as we reach the final moments of pleasure As you fuel my Flame And as i seperate the wetness of your waters we will both for a moment expiernece heaven on earth |
Voted For: Valor
Empire.. i liked your verse but it kinda fell off a little in the end.. plus the fact that id didnt rhyme didnt help you much but it is a poetry piece so i understand that but valor's piece started off pretty weak but gained momentum in the middle and he kept rolling with the topic and it ended up a good piece... empire it was a good bitten verse but valors was better Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. |
Quote:
unexplained and gay poetry dont need to rhyme dick most of shakespere aint rhyme and bitten you are such a fag thats my poem asshole i got the copyright :nono: |
really ... you do lmao ill get the link hold on....
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aiight maybe u didnt bite it but you still lose this battle for recycling smart guy :thumbup:
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...fountain+desire |
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Voted For: Empire
oh god... i cant belive im doin this...... heres my break down............ Valor.... ya shit was good was feelin it, good wordplay and flowed quite well.... structure was hit and miss so work on that (in poetry and topicals a text battle structure isnt the best)... you stayed on topic and thats always a pluss... the creativity was good.... but could have been better.... over all u had a good verse. 7/10 Empire.... ya shit was pretty tight.... it flowed well, and wordplay was tight.. i was really feelin it.... structure was differant but i liked it, it worked well with the flow of things and it turned out pretty decent.... you stayed on the topic the whole time and your creativity was deffinitly there... it was very passionate and heart felt, good stuff... 9/10 now valor this aint a hate or DR vote... empire and i have a very shaky history, frankly i dont really like him... but i have never droped a dishonest vote and empire won this one... no hate to valor at all... you both came well and i respect that Vote........Empire...... |
Quote:
this is very true, ive written poetry for years, shit dosent always have to rhyme, thats whats best about poetry, its anything u want it to be.... |
Voted For: Empire
Nice drop by both, two totally different styles... I though you both come decent in this battle but I though that Empire had the better verse. It was more complex with a lot of hidden meanings the emotions in both was hott and the vocab... Pretty dope Poetry battle... Vote ~ Empire Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. |
This was feedback posted for Valor
As i drink from the well of your passion
cool mists soothing my skin cascading accross my senses drowning me in your depths Your taste of sweet honey tantalizing my every nerve while relaxing my every muscle I find myself lost as i swim through your ocean of love as you take me under deep into the waves of your being Your current pulling me closer I can feel your heat melting my soul burning deep within me And i can feel your heat more as its building around me Still i add to the fire until the flames smother us both Until we can no longer breath Until we can no longer hear the thunder but feel the lightening As it strikes the waters of our fountain of desire and the crash of the waters is the voice of longing calling to me.... begging me.... pleading me to test the depths of your need to calm your Fire as it slowly burns you And as we reach the final moments of pleasure As you fuel my Flame And as i seperate the wetness of your waters we will both for a moment expiernece heaven on earth THE FLOW KINDA CHOPPED UP BUT THE EMOTIONS AND FEELIGNS WAS THERE NICE DROP that smooth skin with that beautiful body i seem to desire that sexy touch of the hands seem to put out the fire in me, im constantly needing you throughout the night laying in my warm bed playing footsies...to my delight it felt good...and i needed more of that loving..... that fun exciting four play which envolved me and you touching body's i could never resist you, reaching out constantly to hug and kiss you there is no doubt that if i ever lost you i would definately miss you but i can never picture losing your love and the extrordinary sex waking up in the mournig seeing your hair in a mess from me pulling it all night during those hot passionate love sessions i sometimes have fantasies of me and you in public and sex'ing with eachother unconditionally non stop i'd be caressing your body and smooth skin with lotion,and watch your body move in a motion that i yet cannot discribe, i remember when i first met you i felt that vibe ive been hooked on you ever since, use to have wet dreams about me and you making love in the back seat of a car, with the windows steamed and foggy, that love, smile, legs, and body i will always seem to admire to me girl you will always remain my full solid definition of sexuall desire....... ^^^^^^^^^^^^ WHOA I LOVE DIS U HAD EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS AND CREATIVITY U EXPLAIN EVERY LIL DETAIL THATS WHAT I LIKE ABOUT UR POEMS V-VALOR VALOR GOT DIS BECAUSE HE EXPLAIN EVERY LIL DETAIL AND EXPLAIN THEM BEAUTIFULLY, NICE EMOTIONS AND CREATIVITY ALL THOUGH THIS IS AN FEEDBACK |
This was feedback posted for Empire
Uppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp ppin
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