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-   -   [ T h E - s T o R y ] (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=101246)

shorty0069 12-24-03 10:39 PM

[ T h E - s T o R y ]
 
So many words have been unspoken
so much is left unsaid
the chapters have been written
the pages have been read

There will be no happy ending
a tragic tale it must be
there'll be no kiss to break the spell
no magic will set us free

What fate brought together
our past has torn apart
blank pages go unwritten
from a story of the heart

Eki 12-24-03 11:05 PM

its nice work... up the vocab .....
but i like it....

filed 12-29-03 07:41 PM

okay this was a very basic, simple poem. and with poems like this theres never much to say on, cos everything can be taken a bit further, structure, vocab, depth, emotion, detail, everything. it was nicely written but its a piece you can take now and build more on top on it. make it that much better.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

Phantasia 12-29-03 10:05 PM

yea what they said and all that. But I've found that the most basic thing have deep meanings. Yea you could change it but then it wouldn't be yours right. So keep doing what your doing and take my lead and try and elevate cause I'm trying my dang self lol!


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