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-   -   Who Am I? (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=106358)

Theo Ginn 01-12-04 08:35 PM

Who Am I?
 
Who Am I?

The solitude in rhymes dilutes to contribute in conflicting minds
Inflictin crimes causing me to salute the forever hardening times
Searching for inner diversion leads to aspersion in inner thought
Averting to the sub-urban….leaves my opinions lost and bought
Changin mind channels to handle the scandals that are exposed
I could ramble like lives vandal…...but that aint the path i chose
Compelling questions scold sections in the neurons of my brain
To lessen my internal fretting but I know ill always be the same
Plus my identity aint friends with me which excels complication
Death will accour eventully…..till then..fuck the worlds gyrations

Peety Popeyes 01-12-04 08:43 PM

Wow, I expected this to be a blah, original type of piece. This actually is really good. Nice job with the vocab, and I can really see what you were meaning to say. Great job!!!

Theo Ginn 01-12-04 08:46 PM

lol

fuck you for the first remark :(

but thanks man for the 2nd :)

Peety Popeyes 01-12-04 08:47 PM

Ahha, but really. Ahha...good job with it. Can you actually "read" my Open Mic...its the only one by me on the first page.

Theo Ginn 01-12-04 09:01 PM

lol took me a while but i did it

Viscosity 01-12-04 09:03 PM

this was an ok piece..
Ur structure was nice..
ur flow was simple words, but was still coo
Concept - hmm.. ight
Real short tho...
If you could return a reply:
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...threadid=105888

Theo Ginn 01-12-04 09:15 PM

just being original

thanks

Theo Ginn 01-13-04 07:27 AM

up^

Theo Ginn 01-13-04 07:13 PM

blah

Sir Q. Layshun 01-13-04 08:01 PM

Well This Wuz A Pretty Nice Piece, Pretty Original, Good Vocab And Flow Wuz Nice, I Could Tell With Ease What You Were Tryin To Explain With Your Words. Theres Not Really Anything Bad To Say About It Keep It Up Dawg 1

Theo Ginn 01-13-04 08:16 PM

thanks man

Edicius 01-13-04 09:04 PM

Original concept, .. good vocab usage..solid flow, & nice structure u make me proud..
i really enjoyed this piece, u expressed very well,. = )

Castro XL 01-13-04 09:40 PM

I liked it................................................ ................................everything was on key holla at me

Emerge 01-14-04 02:01 AM

Origin...this piece was very thoughtfull and the concept is rather played
but you did a good job in flipping and such....the metaphors in this
were well thought out

on the other hand...
watch your syllable count...some of the words seemed unneeded and
just there for rhyme scheme's sake...10 lines isn't enough i felt robbed
as if you owed me more for the title of the topic...and the ending didn't
seem like an eding to me...

/\best feedback you will ever get

*drop feed on untangible evil*

Theo Ginn 01-14-04 05:56 AM

lol^

thanks homo


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