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-   -   best ryhme ever (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=111652)

MC_Merc 02-02-04 05:14 PM

best ryhme ever
 
(i fuckin posted this b4)undefined :laugh2: :gfy: :banghead: :cussing:
Hello world, i'm a newbie. This is my first rap on this site. Judge me fairly. And if i sucked tell me why

yo my playas and bitches get ready , pull out ya glocks
we gonna fight these hatas who still play wit megablocks
they standin they're pissin in they pants
we gonna squash them like them lil ants
then one dude starts to frown, i took his head and smacked it on da ground
he gets up and turns around, i punch him once and he fell down
i get back in da club
get me a few rounds of bub
i have 12 rounds of alize
waitin 4 my bitch to fuck today
we go smoke up an ouce or two
i was starting to get cornier then johnny woo
so i decided to make a gta
and then i get arrested by tha cia
now i'm in jail wit my bitch getin blowed
now i cant even think about wat she showed
she had 1inch winnie, and she was a woman, i ran
i got out on bail, now i'm gettin gypsy glasses man

MC.MErC

MC_Merc 02-02-04 06:51 PM

yo you people why aint fuckin anybody checkin this, don't be hatan if u didn't even take a fuckin look.

Verbatim 02-02-04 06:57 PM

it was alright, vocab was pretty simple, structure, well coulda been better. Try to keep lines the same length for better flow. And just make the whole thing longer and it'll be cool. And don't flip out when ppl don't reply, reply to there's and they will reply to your's

peace

MC_Merc 02-02-04 07:45 PM

thx for the tip, but i waited a long time and had to post this a second time.
I wanna hear from more peeps

MC_Merc 02-03-04 06:08 PM

u people stink

Holmes Jr. 02-03-04 06:12 PM

Tips for improvement, pay attention to syllable count in each bar, elevate your vocab, try and get a topic thats not...nothing, and once you get good try to throw in some multi's..

Penskills 02-03-04 06:13 PM

change the title to...Worst rhyme ever....

MC_Merc 02-03-04 06:16 PM

i only called it best ryhme ever because nobody was payin attention and it was pissin me off well thanks for your comments. And your right it was a bad open mic

Phoeniix 02-03-04 07:43 PM

lol at the ending
it was funny at least


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