RapVerse.com Community - Typing Rhymes

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- - Typing Rhymes (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=113909)

Im sat here thinking on the brink of reality
In a world, consumed… in a fallacy
Sporadically writing scripts like a new… new testament
But in reverse cos it’s really flipped irrelevant
Gotta be malevolent… cos it s living straight ripped lines
Giving false finds… with its modern metal
Just cos the detector beeps, don’t mean the glory revels
Don’t let it embezzle… consume… its partial being
The closet room, in the vast mansion… not all freeing
Without foreseeing… Im feeling quick its grip
The noose, tight or loose… it’s in your own finger tips
Virtual tricks mean shit… it’s a world of physicality
Of man-to-man mortality… so shed some perspective
Have plans other than to span cyber’s collective
Be inventive… reach for realms beyond your grasp
The contrast is electric… cos solitary typing is digressive
Remember…moderation is effective… don’t tip the balance
Cos life out weighs typed play’s entrapments
Its nice to relay… but too much is like flatulence
It repeats… gets you know where… it embarrasses
Its just deceit… your life halts, but the rest keeps moving
And while your fine tuning… the worlds cruising
Some say it’s intruding, eluding… but I say escapism
Im using… you might call it plagiarism
So listen, cos very word is spoken… but not aimed at him…
Or aimed at you… it’s preferential to the whim
I enjoy it… but it’s by no means my most important thing
Yes… On my list of priorities…. its floating on the wing

no sleeping...........

Alright...peice flowed pretty nice throughout..Good use of vocab...actually very good use of vacab....The peice gave me sort of a dreary feelin while reading it...Dunno if that was intentional...But a nice peice...Keep it up

Please vote on this...Can you drop battle links in open Mic? http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113978

not bad..

mad vocab in this..i had to read it a few times
so i can run it through smoothly..
this had its good points and its low points..
the fallacy part was tight...but towards the middle
i was beginning to doze off...it might be cuz its 1:11..
but nonetheless it kinda didnt hit my imagery nerve..
u came stronger in the end..more feeling to it..
more meaning...cool shit..

peace..

thnx for the feedback...... anymore

nice drop here the vocab was nice but sleep where in there it made sleepy until i got to end of it other than that the ending and beginning was nice

--[Flow]---
Flow was dope...think you had some mad internals and alot of complex/depthful rhymes, you preventing from a simplistic approach which was nice...:
"The noose, tight or loose… it’s in your own finger tips
Virtual tricks mean shit… it’s a world of physicality
Of man-to-man mortality… so shed some perspective
Have plans other than to span cyber’s collective" - thought it was well dope.

Got a sort of slow paced feel to this...beacuse of the way you structured it.

--[Vocab]--
Vocab was tight, was spaced out well and refrained from over and underusing it, it fitted an flowed in nicely, keeping the piece consistant and fluent throughout. Looked like it had alot of thought into it 'cos words were inserted professionally.

--[Concept]--
Didn't think the imagry hit as hard as it should have, and yes, it did sort of lose it's appeal in the middle although picked it up again around this line:
"Some say it’s intruding, eluding… but I say escapism"....
Felt that you were tired, distressed maybe....?

--[Overall]--
Overall this was a good piece...flow was fluent and the vocab was well executed..although the imagry was lacking, it was still a good read..3/5.

Nice work,your vocab is certainly impressive,your wordplay was awesome too.
I wasn't so fond of your structure,but it woked out.
I'm looking forward to seeing more.

Its a tight flow , what really catches my eye is the vocabulary used , the way my styles are kicked.

this piece was sexy...ya imagery wasn't as good as usual...but ya flow was on point...as was the vocab...and the imagery was still good...so overall this was a dope piece...so keep doin' ya thing...even though you just a big soft head fruitloop face...lol...

Once again..and agian..you put out quailty material...I think this maybe one of the best I've read from you in a while...your imagery really stood out on this piece..your vocab and wordplay is always thier but..your imagery really stood out..Good job!!