this story is sad but true (need feed back)
 

i dont know how its goin to come out but here we go!!!!!

i know a man whos the worlds biggest bum
he used to come home and beat his unborn babies mom
he done it alot made him feel cool
any real man tell you hes a fool
then one night he pulled out a knife
cut open the mom and try to take the babys life
just pause for a minute to feel the pain
any man do that hes fuckin insane
or has no fuckin brain
after the baby was born he left with no trace
cuz he was bitch and couldnt look the baby in the face
as the years went on and the boy got older
mom im goin to find him thats what he told her
after 23 yrs he found the man
boy could see his moms blood on his hands
the farther i go with this fuckin writing
the madder i get i wanna start fighting
the boy reached in his pants pulled out a gun
shot his dad in the leg said lets have some fun
the guyed cried out dont know who you are
the boy pulled off his shirt you recognize the scar
the story i told you is very true
if you think im lyin well fuck you
this story is for the guy who started this whole mess
got a scar on my stomach and one on my chest
i see that muthafucker every time i undress

undefinedfuck you david you know who this is :thefinger

it was alright basic rhymes but good story........


one love......

work on vocab
flow was off a bit in places
and thats not a true story

oh yes it is a true story
 

how you gonna tell me that aint true
it happened to me it didnt happen to you

That story was raw whether it's true or not. But there were no dynamics, multis or anything exciting.....vocab sucked too.

nope didnt happne i tell ya that one right now and your gay and you suck haha

let me c no it didnt happen ud b dead
cause hed cut into ur mom and
the amniotic fluid would leak out causing u 2 die
god i hate stupid lil kids whao post shit without knowin facts
lol if its true post a pic of ur scar dumbass

lol @ accomp...nah fah realz man it may somehow make a better audio, but text doesn't do this post any justice whether its true or not.

damn ur mom sleeps really hard 2 kid

Alright white...i kind of noticed that you had a few tyte bars...and then the other 70% was lil holes that you broke your leg in...Good topic tru or not, Good 'cuz it encorperated Wordplay...Not bad, Should have taken more time and you need to elevate.