RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 03-25-04, 11:15 PM   #1
WHITEMANDINGO
New to RB
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Mar 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
this story is sad but true (need feed back)

IP: 3240 794D

i dont know how its goin to come out but here we go!!!!!

i know a man whos the worlds biggest bum
he used to come home and beat his unborn babies mom
he done it alot made him feel cool
any real man tell you hes a fool
then one night he pulled out a knife
cut open the mom and try to take the babys life
just pause for a minute to feel the pain
any man do that hes fuckin insane
or has no fuckin brain
after the baby was born he left with no trace
cuz he was bitch and couldnt look the baby in the face
as the years went on and the boy got older
mom im goin to find him thats what he told her
after 23 yrs he found the man
boy could see his moms blood on his hands
the farther i go with this fuckin writing
the madder i get i wanna start fighting
the boy reached in his pants pulled out a gun
shot his dad in the leg said lets have some fun
the guyed cried out dont know who you are
the boy pulled off his shirt you recognize the scar
the story i told you is very true
if you think im lyin well fuck you
this story is for the guy who started this whole mess
got a scar on my stomach and one on my chest
i see that muthafucker every time i undress

undefinedfuck you david you know who this is
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-25-04, 11:19 PM   #2
Gambino
....Trunks R 4 Bodies....
 
Gambino's Avatar
 
Posts: 523
Joined: Mar 2004
From: newark,NJ
Status: Offline
IP: 0ABC 464B

it was alright basic rhymes but good story........


one love......
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-04, 02:02 AM   #3
Willa
Bann The Deed NOT The Breed
 
Willa's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,114
Joined: Feb 2004
Status: Offline
Audio Record: 1-0
IP: 525D FF37

work on vocab
flow was off a bit in places
and thats not a true story
__________________



O.Y.D.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-04, 08:49 AM   #4
WHITEMANDINGO
New to RB
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Mar 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
oh yes it is a true story

IP: 3240 794D

Quote:
Originally Posted by will a peer
work on vocab
flow was off a bit in places
and thats not a true story

how you gonna tell me that aint true
it happened to me it didnt happen to you
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-04, 10:31 AM   #5
Murder Phreak
Flyweight
 
Murder Phreak's Avatar
 
Posts: 155
Joined: Mar 2004
From: ATLANTA
Status: Offline
Text Record: 5-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: FD47 43D3

That story was raw whether it's true or not. But there were no dynamics, multis or anything exciting.....vocab sucked too.
__________________
step up and get merked cuz i take care of bidness/ A killa without witness from the start to the finish/ you're fallin off like you came down with tha sickness/ cuz when you step to tha Phreak I'm gonna leave you dickless

HASTA LAVISTA MUTHAFUCKA!!!
A-1 Lyricists
Send a message via AIM to Murder Phreak   Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-04, 01:22 PM   #6
accomplishment
"Ya'll Must've Forgot"
 
accomplishment's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,107
Joined: Mar 2004
From: Da Nasty North
Status: Offline
Text Record: 39-15
IP: 2213 AC01

nope didnt happne i tell ya that one right now and your gay and you suck haha
__________________
Send a message via MSN to accomplishment   Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-04, 02:38 PM   #7
Willa
Bann The Deed NOT The Breed
 
Willa's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,114
Joined: Feb 2004
Status: Offline
Audio Record: 1-0
IP: 525D FF37

let me c no it didnt happen ud b dead
cause hed cut into ur mom and
the amniotic fluid would leak out causing u 2 die
god i hate stupid lil kids whao post shit without knowin facts
lol if its true post a pic of ur scar dumbass
__________________



O.Y.D.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-04, 02:41 PM   #8
DeVaZtAtE MinDz
Light Weight
 
DeVaZtAtE MinDz's Avatar
 
Posts: 218
Joined: Dec 2002
From: J-Ville
Status: Offline
IP: 0934 DA79

lol @ accomp...nah fah realz man it may somehow make a better audio, but text doesn't do this post any justice whether its true or not.
Send a message via AIM to DeVaZtAtE MinDz   Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-04, 01:08 AM   #9
Willa
Bann The Deed NOT The Breed
 
Willa's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,114
Joined: Feb 2004
Status: Offline
Audio Record: 1-0
IP: 525D FF37

damn ur mom sleeps really hard 2 kid
__________________



O.Y.D.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-04, 02:40 AM   #10
JiXi
Light Weight
 
JiXi's Avatar
 
Posts: 227
Joined: Jan 2004
From: Bahamas
Status: Offline
IP: 1424 2422

Alright white...i kind of noticed that you had a few tyte bars...and then the other 70% was lil holes that you broke your leg in...Good topic tru or not, Good 'cuz it encorperated Wordplay...Not bad, Should have taken more time and you need to elevate.
__________________
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:43 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.