feedback please...
 

Look folks my life has been nothin but tragedy/
a fucked up young soul addicted to corruption and travesty/maybe it's due to my Biology plus anatomy/people think since I'm a guy that nothin should matter to me/well if i was care free than i'd be dead for bein careless/death is reserved for the fearless and you need to be aware of this/my life is similair to the bible story of kane and abel/i was betrayed by society and shoved under the table/my thoughts were too profound, my ideas had to be kept secret/i had soul by the sound, got goosebumps everytime the beat hit/but i was never understood...frostbitten from cold hearts/buried under feet because people didn't like my bold art/
they said i was paranoid, not everybody was a liar/it turns out everybodies satan sayin "I can give you what you desire"/but i can't sell my soul, especially when love and acceptance can't possibly be bought/so I'm left distrought, wandering and wondering, pondering, if i should start thundering/because the real natural disaster is when a victim of evil snaps/and naturally I feel so evil that i could make heaven collapse/i don't know why i feel this way, just angry at the world/you've fed me bullshit all my life and i'm just now startin to hurl/so i need anger management...you got enough courage to come manage my anger?/i think you'd be better off stayin away before i turn back to the boston strangler/yea you heard right, they arrested the wrong man/it was their fault, trusted their necks in the wrong hands/I'm like a strong fan, blow you up like an equal rights activist preachin to the wrong klan/this is dark, but there is light at the end of the tunnel/I'm the only person you know who's been abused by societies cloud funnel/see I'm pourin my heart and soul into text so maybe you'll understand me/i don't want you hand me, sympothy i just wanna use your hearts for my words to land free/some of you out there don't feel this, or don't believe these are my true thoughts and words/and thats fine by me because my only true friends are adjectives and verbs/but atleast I'm bein heard/i don't care if you like it or think it's absurd/see you can't love something or accept it if you don't understand it/which is why I'm pitchin my thoughts to you underhanded/because i don't want you to swing and miss i want you to connect in the sweet spot/say "i felt that!!" with breeze behind your bat so you can get a clean shot/understanding metaphorical langauge, is the key to feelin another ones anguish/people hide their feelings so you need to learn to read between the line/i tried makin it easy for you...if you don't get me..maybe you will next time/

hottnes bro... keep bring them flames... seperate ya lines instead of jus makin it go on

ie

jgneoirnhe;oihjn4o//
adfhni[epotnim[j//

i normally do...but it was so long that i thought maybe if i did that nobody would read it...but i guess it doesn't matter cause nobody readin this shit anyways...thanks for the feedback tho

yea...feelin dat, elevate on ya structure init...pretty hard to read but all ina ll gd!
Holla back at sum of ma stuff hun
Peace xx

shit soz didnt know uve alreafy spoken bouyt lines soz hunni

the only thing i didnt like was the clutter u need to break the lines but overal def feelin it good spit kid........................