Failure
 

Alright, This is actually a song i wrote... Im the lead singer of a band and i write for other bands as well as my own...


Why don’t you listen
I can tell all you do is hear
You are shaded from reality
And the pain I persevere
The Outcast cries for freedom
But no one’s close to hear
Our revolution will arise
Just wait… Wait for our time

Sell me your treasons
With the change of seasons
I kept my life tied down
Your poisoned reasons
I fall to my knees and
Confess what I disavowed

Desolate and Neurotic
As your words begin to tear
My arms covered in scarlet
Getting rid of this despair
Not understanding your logic
I’ll meet you halfway there
Our hopes have all fallen
You’ve failed… You have failed this time


The second verse is the chorus... i didnt set it up like the song. But you get the idea.. Feed back.

dat was pretty hot...i really like dat last verse it's deep
8/10

thanks... uppin

up.

we play a lot of different genres... Fun, Blues, Hard Rock, Classic rock, A LOOOT of stuff... Thanks for the feedback... and songs are the best cause they dont have to rhyme..so poetry can be easily converted into a song.

that poem is deep

that is a good poem i like it alot

Im glad the cheaters with the same IP like it :spit:

I thought this was a great piece, it is a poem and i think it is a great song also, you have a very strong vocabulary and it shows, your use of words helped me to visualize a lot of the images that you were trying to portray, and it flowed beautifully........keep it up liquor....
plz drop some honest feedback on my pieces, (where???) and (UNTITLED) thanx