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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
06-14-04, 05:39 PM
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#1
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yawn
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Failure
IP: 06D4 9403
Alright, This is actually a song i wrote... Im the lead singer of a band and i write for other bands as well as my own...
Why don’t you listen I can tell all you do is hear You are shaded from reality And the pain I persevere The Outcast cries for freedom But no one’s close to hear Our revolution will arise Just wait… Wait for our time Sell me your treasons With the change of seasons I kept my life tied down Your poisoned reasons I fall to my knees and Confess what I disavowed Desolate and Neurotic As your words begin to tear My arms covered in scarlet Getting rid of this despair Not understanding your logic I’ll meet you halfway there Our hopes have all fallen You’ve failed… You have failed this time The second verse is the chorus... i didnt set it up like the song. But you get the idea.. Feed back.
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do your research.  |
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06-14-04, 06:04 PM
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#2
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Light Weight
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IP: 7C6F 690C
dat was pretty hot...i really like dat last verse it's deep
8/10 |
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06-15-04, 11:29 AM
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#3
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yawn
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IP: 9FA2 8485
thanks... uppin
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do your research. |
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06-20-04, 12:04 AM
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#4
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yawn
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IP: 06D4 9403
up.
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do your research. |
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06-20-04, 07:53 PM
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#5
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: DF7B C8F7
Nice work man. What type of music does your band play because I've been getting into plaing guitar again and some of the poems I have been workin on are actually songs aswell.
Quote:
Great work |
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06-23-04, 07:07 PM
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#6
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yawn
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IP: 06D4 9403
we play a lot of different genres... Fun, Blues, Hard Rock, Classic rock, A LOOOT of stuff... Thanks for the feedback... and songs are the best cause they dont have to rhyme..so poetry can be easily converted into a song.
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do your research. |
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07-10-04, 04:34 PM
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#7
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: EC0B 84C7
that poem is deep
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07-16-04, 06:00 AM
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#8
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: EC0B 84C7
that is a good poem i like it alot
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07-18-04, 10:33 AM
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#9
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yawn
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IP: 06D4 9403
Im glad the cheaters with the same IP like it
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do your research. |
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07-18-04, 11:41 AM
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#10
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 4289 77F4
I thought this was a great piece, it is a poem and i think it is a great song also, you have a very strong vocabulary and it shows, your use of words helped me to visualize a lot of the images that you were trying to portray, and it flowed beautifully........keep it up liquor....
plz drop some honest feedback on my pieces, (where???) and (UNTITLED) thanx
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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