true
 

yo many lifes drop by so many sorrow wings fly i wonder if this world is da real life//
cuz everything may seem not so special when someone dies//
i got so much sorrow i see through gods eyes//
what kinda mistakes can take place through all the lies//
all falls under 6 feet of ground but we never hear the youngs ones cry//
everything silent with all the shots someone dies//
pullin back da glocks lettin hollow tips rip through youngs ones//
till they drop i write my true poetics through what i see//
most of us tryin to be some one we see on t.v//
waitin so long for drama end of it all aint no stoppin tilll we all fall//
the emotion behind ya past is like my flows carryin heavy mass//
i cry like dangerous cuz i know i aint gonna last//
and through gods eyes all everylasting its gonna be disposed like trash//
i get deep not to end it fast,but my words shatter hearts that are see through like glass//
my last breath is an i love you dont wanna waist it on nothing but for somethings thats above you//
raps dien aint nuttin can be said like nas and stay true//
and in gods eyes i see through//
all that falls,when is anything gonna be new//

hm... it was iight but it was pretty off at time the structure was horrible...and your wordplay was simple...... overall it was iight but you really need to work on certain stuff

aight dawg let me settle somthin poetry aint about the rhyme or strcture dawg its about da feelings in my point of view i aint sayin this in a mean way but my stuff is based on mostly non rhyming~one~

word...i thought this was good, emotional words, it didnt matter that your spellin and grammar might have been off, what you said in your words is what counts too, this was deep from you and raw, nice work man......would make a nice recorded song