yo many lifes drop by so many sorrow wings fly i wonder if this world is da real life//
cuz everything may seem not so special when someone dies//
i got so much sorrow i see through gods eyes//
what kinda mistakes can take place through all the lies//
all falls under 6 feet of ground but we never hear the youngs ones cry//
everything silent with all the shots someone dies//
pullin back da glocks lettin hollow tips rip through youngs ones//
till they drop i write my true poetics through what i see//
most of us tryin to be some one we see on t.v//
waitin so long for drama end of it all aint no stoppin tilll we all fall//
the emotion behind ya past is like my flows carryin heavy mass//
i cry like dangerous cuz i know i aint gonna last//
and through gods eyes all everylasting its gonna be disposed like trash//
i get deep not to end it fast,but my words shatter hearts that are see through like glass//
my last breath is an i love you dont wanna waist it on nothing but for somethings thats above you//
raps dien aint nuttin can be said like nas and stay true//
and in gods eyes i see through//
all that falls,when is anything gonna be new//

hm... it was iight but it was pretty off at time the structure was horrible...and your wordplay was simple...... overall it was iight but you really need to work on certain stuff

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aight dawg let me settle somthin poetry aint about the rhyme or strcture dawg its about da feelings in my point of view i aint sayin this in a mean way but my stuff is based on mostly non rhyming~one~