Best Verse Ever
 

the three macks'll make ya lean back/
u wanna fuck wit my click but
where ya team at/
its the motherfuckin soldiers
ready 4 war/
put a couple in ya face
and leave ya head to pour/
once this shit drop
the game is done/
u can get mo shots to the face than
jenna jameson/
Spit verbal ballistics/
that'll hit ya click quick/
i spit that sick shit/
Da Soldiers ready 4 war
i told ya men/
reppin for big,pac,pun,l,
and soulja slim/
it's me against the world like
scarface in the last scene/
we make mad cream/
put red dots on ya face
like acne/
ak's the hottest, makin motherfuckin
tracks steam/
Push mo keys than
Ray Charles/
fuck wit me,
leave wit mo stiches than a baseball/
the 4-5th 'll blow ya face off/
the illest lyricist/
u know this shit is sick/
cowards can get blown like
President Clintons dick/
dont be ignorant/
that'll make the mack start spittin quick/
Ak's sendin pussy-ass bitches tips/
I spit street scripture/
the hollow tips'll hit ya/
i use these verses to paint
ghetto pictures/


:shoot:

elevate.make your bars real bars not half bars.

thanx 4 feedback

Also,use more wordplay in your verse,dont keep it too basic.

yo, was the lyrics tight? i mean i wasnt really worried about the structure. it was just a mix of a bunch of stuff ive written.just tryna get some feedback on this.i'm still kinda young(13) so im tryna improve. i was speakin true shit tho. i aint fakin what im sayin.

if im busy i sick my soldier ricky/
my soldier ricky is sick/
Ricky Syx/
sendin six from the six sixes your way/
there gon be sixty-six shots that make sixty six
bodies drop today/

is that some good wordplay?

Your alright fix your structure a bit
Your lyrics are okay elavate

Pc

Av' Summed It Up There..

this was wack your structure was fucked same wit everything else

Okkk
 

its koo....

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...790#post1463790

ayo,they pretty much summed it up for ya but don't put /// at the end especially if ya gonna continue ta with short lines it makes it hard ta read n don't look great..aight pc