Tha Q vs Yung Duke
 

Battle Rules:

6 - UNLIMITED Lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 08-05-04 at 10:14 PM

Must drop verse in 120 minutes after check in.

Yung Duke has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-05-04 09:44 PM.

Tha Q has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-05-04 09:53 PM.

Topic: You're trapped in a room...tell what happens


Thursday night, 11:30 PM...I'm in the house sleeping...my sister and mother are in their respective rooms...


I woke up and..

Suddenly, outside of my bedroom window I heard commotion..
I started chokin' as I glanced out..then saw moms trying to motion..
Me emotionally as I ran to the door..but, the knob was Dante's Inferno..
The smoke billowed so much that I was in hell like my own personal journal..
Then, I dropped to my knees..crawled over to the window to open it..
Frantically, I screamed.."I can't get out the door, the fire's roastin' it..
The entire room had smoke in it..I remained low until I heard a scream..
"Mike, stay calm if you can..the Fire trucks will be here on the scene"..
It was my sis..outside with the neighbors pacin' in a panicked state..
It was like a circus..the smell of burning dry wall filled the place..
Still, my faith stood strong..my face, drenched with sweat, concerns..
I started to lose it..fear replaced my resolve to escape without burns..
Finally, the fire sirens sounded in the distance.."This is it then!"
I thought to myself with no resistance..I'll jump if they must insist it..
The door to my room started to crack..I could see a black spot form..
The fire was about to break through.."Oh God, I must get going"
I looked out the window..about 2 stories down I could see the Chief..
"Mike, don't be afraid..just close your eyes and jump out onto this sheet"
I wondered if they could catch me..I didn't want to hit the ground and break up..
But, as soon as I took the leap..I felt a hand on my shoulder, "Wake up"..

It was all a dream...as usual...

cant really say I felt the topic, but I did the best I could with it. and I forgot to put it in the rules. the topic we agreed on was being trapped in a room. I let you on slowly about what room I'm trapped in. and the story isnt about the room, but the actions that happen in it. and you'll get why the guy in verse is so fucked up oce you realize where he's at. I was lazy so I only did 20 lines, but each means somethin. I just realized I dropped an hour early.

I call this piece "Solitude"as I awake, at first I see no Visual of Luminance when I come to,
no rememberace of the last couple of hours so I make do,
So I sit on the bed provided silently awaitin my fate,
or so it would seem, for I was really contemplatin my escape,
cause I want out, back to the real world, all I get here is mind games,
So I'll make myself heard til my lungs collapse, or til my voice loops in ya mind frame,
Screamin, "lil pigs, lil pigs, LET ME THE FUCK OUT"
surrounded by nothin but white, "GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE NOW"
I throw my lunch tray at the door, "I'LL SEE EVERY LAST ONE OF U IN HELL"
"THEN YOU'LL BE IN MY WORLD, SO IF YOU WANNA SURVIVE, LET ME THE FUCK OUTTA THIS CELL"
Then I flip out, the word bizerk doesnt begin to descibe my feeling,
and I'm in a happy mood today, catchin me in a bad mood isnt as apealing,
and in an instance, my emotion changes so fast, I can hardly speak,
I take a look around at my surroundings and suddenly I began to weep,
my sad eyes water up for a moment, then once again I start bitchin,
this has nothin to do wit a conscience, this is an example of brain cells contradictin,
these people have had about enough, 3 of them rush my cell, and it takes 2 to hold me down,
while the third injects me with a toxin, which is no doubt being used to slow me down,
as I again enter the stage that will erase these last hours, myrage starts to fall,
So end aother day of life trapped inside the padding of four white walls...
~Normally put my name here but that would defeat the purpose the new System~

Voted For: Tha Q

Yung Duke- Started Off Ok, But The Ending Was The Best, I Started To Understand It As It Went Along As You Said It Would, Flow Was Good, Kinda Could Invision It, Sort Of Descriptive In Places, About Your Emotions Mostly....

The Q- Liked How You Started Off And Kept The Pace And The Flow Throughout, Could Invision It Easier Than Yung Dukes, And Was More Descriptive In Certain Areas,

Both- Flow Was Good On Both Sides, I Felt i Could See And Believe Q's More Cuz The Descriptiveness, Yung Duke Came Nice And Was Good But Overal I Felt Q Had The Overal Better Story.....

Final Vote- Q....

Peep My Battle Wit Capitol

^^ word...preciate the feedback


I can't vote on elevated battles, though


1

Voted For: Tha Q

young duke:

nice verse in general... except ya could have worded it a lot better... and i wasnt really feelin ya flow... it was off the first few bars, but ya picked it up about halfway trhough... plot was ill though...

Tha Q:

nice flow and plot. ya verse was kind of.. easier to read that dukes... his was sort of jumpy-ish.. but ya flow really helped the topic... one bad thing though, having the ending as a dream is hella weak... its like... you built up to this madd climax and then the whole thing didnt even happen... ya coulda had him not have the guts, n get burned, jump off n get injured.. or hell... even survive... but anythin would have been better than the dream ending... good shit though... keep it up

v/ Tha Q

return the favor yo...

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=140130

dont sleep on this... topicals take a while to vote on.. so return the effort..

one

^^^^ word...preciate the vote...but I can't vote in elevated yet dawg...I need 5 wins first...I would have had my first one...but, you know, shit happens...



neway

uppin1

Voted For: Tha Q

ok duke better topic q better drop.q had one better flow and his story flowed smoother .q had a good piece but it was more poetry then a rap piece.duke just had a better more easily readable story and thats why he gets ny vote

my bad i mean q had a easier to read story

preciate the feedback

uppin

1.......................

uppin for more votes

holla

111111111111111111111111

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr votes please


1

Voted For: Tha Q

Gotta go wit Tha on this 1 coz Yung ur structure was all over the place which harmed your flow and i wasnt feelin this at all the wordplay was aight but it was ur layout which ruined ur verse work on it dawg...

Tha Q nice spit kept it steady on the structure flow was good wordplay was decent enough u kept on point wit the topic u got this quite easily

RTF on ma sig