claim the thrown of mah gender-
 

Perception is mah weapon when neglected by redemption
Calmly caught curiosity wit innocent methods n incredible ethics
Mah halo has hastened mah honorable mention now I’m getting gods attention-
Screamin in mah dreams so it seems I’m worthy of better things
locked down in a world full of evil schemes-
I reconnect to mah inner being slap da shit out of mah heart for beating –
Lifes happiness can be deceiving –walk wit god?- I’m still breathing-
Caught creation by the center core being
Strangle it for conceiving.....
-Me-


Enemies line up n wait at da gates while I chew on mah fate n get comfort from hate
Corner stones of old bones lay steady in mah memories of old tombs filled wit rhymes dat jump off mah chest n become mah flesh
Trysts of tumultuous blood tastes drip by drip down mah lips
Lifes grip squeezed mah head tell it flipped---lucky me!!!! guess u got skipped-
Giggles of children drown out the pain tame tha disdain mah body has claimed
Smiles come but always fade-into demons wit a jaded daze
Wasted words wasted verbs will gods flock of careless children ever learn?
Rhymes redeam righteouness in the realm of the scrolls untold n forgotten –
Babies born lost souls and hopeless women plottin
Pointin fingers reflection lingers got u nervous wit what I’m sayin cus I’m realities eloquent speaker
Brain pans expand into lands of open fields n sadness yields so hearts can heal
Love is given like sleepin children –its serenity locked in moments of unity
Hiphop opened doors to a silent community wit more to say than the bible itself-wake up n represent yaself-god lives there – his words prepared in the blood of the people lost in worldly despair

i can see bein slept on hea--is gonna b a comon occurance---ima try uppin one time-then im out-


one-

this wasnt that bad the content was kinda dry, meaning wha was the reason i posted this. but the wordplay was off the hook. this is the first stuff iv seen u write and u had a mad internal rhyme scheme. stay up. peace.

joey

This was aight...Nothing jumped out at me...You had somenice lines here and there...But at some points you had me lost

I think this is nice in places but you got areas where you could improve... Im feeling the concept, it was quite deep and you displayed your skills on wordplay, similes especially come clean... The style was different, a lot of internal rhymes, sometimes it got hard to follow due to that and multies could be used more to give some rhythm... The wordplay was iLL, thats already been stated, but use it to your advantage, use metaphors for deepness and punches for being comic etc, and try work on getting some power through wordplay, cos thats one thing you need... Vocab was iLL, that was one thing that I thought you got quite on point, I think you got madd potential and madd skill... If you wanna collab or cipher, add me on AIM - emceerhetorix or MSN - smooth_mc@hotmail.com... Keep dropping and elevate, this is some nice work here...

Peez...