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poor life,rich life ft mimesis
This is somthing me and mem quickly done, it in noway reflect's our personal life's. but the diffrence's between the title.mimesis done poor life. I done rich life
hope you enjoy it. http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=168344 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=167449 rich life,poor life Its funny how this nation works, but its just lacking something Cause without money, our expectations are practically nothing Tellin us to be patient.. but we're just a lost victim in this hell And, our only hope of living.. ..relies on the monthly welfare checks in the mail All our faces are pail.. barely alive.. I dont even know y we fight When we're out trash diving.. just to eat some dinner at night There's no light, so why.. does the government tell us its flipping Man, they tell us to walk the earth.. ..but the ducktape holdin our shoes is barely sticking Its sickening.. sitting on street curbs, pockets empty, its sux dude Watching these kids with no strength.. and no plate offering food People enter the robberin mood... and the office is allowed to see And claim we're all criminals.. ..its not that, but we just all got mouths to feed Just believe.. this isnt a joke, our hopes crashed, but still though They dont understand.. that concrete doesnt make a good pillow Bein killed slow.. hopin we wont notice while they break our spine But, I mind when im livin in a broken state.. in a broken state of mind Everyones blinded by their bullshit.. cause man, we barely alive They tell us to continue to drive on.. ..but we cant even afford to put our cars in drive As we continue to die.. never heard of.. livin our whole lives in fear I hear happiniess doesnt come with money.. ..but with no money, no happiniess is near smile's are clear thru thick glass window's of love hope isnt needed to guide ,nor is a lord up above we have replaced god with picture's of dead president's no such thing as locking door's,we live in a peacfull residence ever since we are bornlife's been great I even have my name written on a personilised license plate im nice n safe,no need for stress and worry When time's get hard,We can fix it with word's less than sorry i confess i blurry out anyone else going thru hard time's cause i dont want to relate to those growing up with chared mind's I wanna stay pure to my riche's,not communicate with those who'are in ditche's I live happy,Cause one day Ill be at the top of the rank's If i acheive my dad give's me green full pocket's for thanx Im not blocking the tank's from going to war cause I seen the truth on cnn,why should I go an explore why should I help other's I have saftey in my own back yard, Look at all the useless ghetto's,nothing to do but hitcrack hard I sit back scared off how much money I have,how should I use it?? oh fuck it,let me go to hell......Ill abuse it....................................... |
Actually I did poor life, you did rich life.
Holla at cha boobies. ILLness yo. |
edited yo, my bad i done that shit quck.
feed?? |
yell I think they both tha shit so keep droppin..........great wordplay..an good verble usage.
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i'm feelin it it was all good, good wordplay and and stuff
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Uhh.. Sweet..
Uppin for more feedback. Leave a link and we'll hit you back.. |
mimesis your verse was pretty dope, good imagery and wordplay, but the structure was horrible honeslty.. im a big fan of structure and i wasnt feeling either of your styles of structure for example:
mimesis: Tellin us to be patient.. but we're just a lost victim in this hell And, our only hope of living.. ..relies on the monthly welfare checks in the mail see the flow is off and the structure makes it look bad but... Tellin us to be patient.. but we're just a lost victim in this hell Plus, our only hope of living, is the welfare checks in the mail Relies and monthly just werent needed in there... sometimes u can inder do it but this was overdone... slim it down a little.. everyone always loses good flow and structure because of unnecessary words... besides that you did preet good and came dope overall : 8.5/10 fi-del.. i wasnt feelin your verse as much as mim's cuz it looks like you rushed it and your structure and flow is messed up also exm: ever since we are born life's been great I even have my name written on a personilised license plate slim it down Ever since i been born, my life's been great I even have my own name on a license plate it just makes everything look better and sound better you had a good verse also but coulda been better good wordplay and imagery also on your part and emotion was pretty good also overall: 7.5/10 between the both of you, this OM was good i think it could have been better coming from two people like yorselfs but overall good job overall : 8/10 |
thank's for the feed.
Your right I did rush my verse,Which I have to apoligies to mimesis because it isnt my usual standered. Thank's for the real feed. *^^^^^^^^^* |
Uppin for more feedback, yo.
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Uppin this yo..
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Word to upping old OMs. Lmao.
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nice verses both but mimesis dope keep droppin
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