Strictly fo' da dawgs from da ghetto
 

HOOK:
yo, I'm pissed and furious
it's a dis when ur not curious
so if u don't leave feed on this
i'll beat ur ass til' u can't piss(2x)


VERSE:
one day i be fuckin' da celebrities like j.lo, britney, and Jo-Jo
and da gangsta's are scared as shit cuz i always carry da fo' fo'
but my lyrical talents do nuthin but grow so i know what to do
to make a show flow and dat's da shit dat pull in da dough
i snort, drink my ass off and even smoke dat drough
so everythin' i see movin' moves slow if u know what i mean, bro
i spit out rhymes as powerful as a fuckin' boat propella
and i don't have ta be a perfect spella ta tell ya
i'm dat rappa dat gon' become famous and become #1 album sella
dis dat muzik dat causes an inspiration dat lasts a whole generation
i pull all da hoes so da only thing u rely on is mastabation
and trust me i ain't no joke i got it so hard dat i got ta slang coke
yo if u haven't noticed i'm da head of my street
and we have ta do whateva it takes ta stay away from da heat
and if u wants ta go ahead and act a fool
you'll get cracked over da head wit a diggin' tool
til' we start da see all da blood and drool
and if ya got da guts ta fuck wit' da L-N-L
we'll be givin' ya hell til' ya get ta hell
so u betta get off me before i dump a shell
so if u dat' fuckin little ho
u betta read da hook below






HOOK:
yo, I'm pissed and furious
it's a dis when ur not curious
so if u don't leave feed on this
i'll beat ur ass til' u can't piss(2x)

Well i can tell you a beginner so props to ya for this....you basic but you seem to be just startin so that's ok. but i got a question.....you got it so hard that you have to slang coac? man you're only 15 you aint got it hard yet.
The way i see it is don't take any responsibilities of an adult unless you take FULL
but overall good drop....keep elevatin
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=171725
Return that favor
peace
7/10

work on ya hooks too
they need to be catchy.....usually songs start out with a hook and that catches the readers and listeners (if you're audio) interest
keep it up

fasho homie 7.5/10
nice drop,structure was
off but LNL is in da buildin

not bad but if u already havnt done i suggest freestyling out loud with a mic recording to get a better idea of rythim, keep it going though man.

yo wet drop......yo structure went sour but its kool.....7/10...Keep droppin em' flames

stop dickin dis bitch made bastard...yo, i'll tell you straight up...this was pure bullshit...stop rappin...retire...bitch