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Downfall
This is from a topical battle im in....just lookin for some feed sonce ppl have slept on the battle...the topic was greed :thumbup:
Once upon an unusual day a man has somehow found his way Relay it back to the day that he had no longer lived in dismay He found himself impeading the spot to become one to lead None could see that his actions deniably in itself was greed Feeding off his intentions he had kept his secret unmentioned His pension grows and leaves his old succesors suspended dreaded the truth to his succesion he just boasted and gloated His selfconfidence coasted causing him to make lies sugar coated His executive poisition grew without preminitions from actions chose Drove himself to new places, on the news he talked in captions closed Facts arose about him and when confronted he froze with confusion Using all he had he made the lie a proven fact from thoughts fusioned His hopes showed contusions of when he pushed himself to the limit Within minutes thoughts hinted away from work, became hard to finish Trying to deminish and win this election to become a producer Abuser of what had brought him succesion, slowly becomes a loser Looser minded people saw that his reign wasnt going to last With passed time he began to realize his dreams started to pass Departed faster than what he expected and wont be resurrected His misdirected intentions started his downfall within seconds And during his succesion he was blinded by his imperfections Which infected the direction of his wrongs into corrections So before you try to score that top notch spot on top of it all Just remember your greed is your seccessor as well as ur downfall |
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nice man. real nice.
...i think it started a lttle "uh w/e" but as i read it, it was just getting better and better and it ended so damn good. That close: "So before you try to score that top notch spot on top of it all Just remember your greed is your seccessor as well as ur downfall" -Was mad dope man. Keep that up fo sho. Other lines stood out but none like that. You kept to topic well, and had a good structure and flow. Also i liked that it really went somewhere. Good going |
thanks man preciate the feed..........uppin for more....leave links and i'll rtf :thumbup:
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Trying to deminish and win this election to become a producer
Abuser of what had brought him succesion, slowly becomes a loser ^^fucked up it's obvious every line flowed perfectly nothin fell off it was consistent throughout da whole verse...a nigga could actually image bein in his shoes u accomplished da imagery of da verse...da thought conveyed was seen from start 2 finish, this gets a 10 nodoubt fav. lines: His misdirected intentions started his downfall within seconds And during his succesion he was blinded by his imperfections So before you try to score that top notch spot on top of it all Just remember your greed is your seccessor as well as ur downfall ^^real talk my nig stay up n keep droppin fire early |
untraceable man, drop some feedback on the open mic in my sig if you ever get a chance.
Holla at me wiv any more open mics of your own |
thanks for the feed man......appreciate it.......and ill hit up your Open Mic hammer
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bump bump bump.
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bump bump bumpin
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