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Desire
Failed to get the girl I wanted! Am I cursed?
^^^^ :thumbup: |
Nice structure man, I know poems don't have to rhyme but it's nice when they do and this one flows very nicely. Heartbreak can be an inspirational thing when it comes to writing...
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I make mistakes I'm only human
I'm ready to start winning and give up losing Cuz she finally understands who's heart she's been bruising. ^Love your ending... Emotion was so raw and pure, am feeling what you're saying here and desire can be such a tricky thing. Like how the poem progressed, vocab was good and the structure was nice as well. Keep it up boy because I enjoy reading your poems, they're so real and easy to relate to. DQ |
Thanx girl. I felt all yours too. Uppyn
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the whole poem is good & touches ur heart u got this down pat 10/10 keep up the good writings
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uppyn thys shyt..
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Good Job, Long Poem This Time You Usualy Make Short Ones, This One Was Good Coz It Was Descritive And Had Alot Of Emotion In Here Which Was Good In This Case Man, Keep Em' Coming Son....9.5/10 |
This was koo man keep it up some day you'll get her.
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Start of the verse was elementary. Didn't draw me in. Got better later on, but it just isn't the material I would want to read more than once. Keep writing. Peace
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Really nice job. I was feeling teh emotion here. I also like your structure too because it made everything flow together well and what not. This shit was deep man. Nice work on this poem.
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nice poem, i liked how you worded it, your structure, and your feelings about this concept, it sucks when you dont get the girl, or in my case.. guy, but dont give up!!!.lol, keep dropping.1
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weerd but that don't mean I can't get her. uppyn...
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hey where the fuck is the whole poem.
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i'd like to read it pm me when its back
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right. Fluidmoon. Where is it.
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