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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-21-05, 03:21 AM
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#1
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Back....
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Desire
IP: 09EA F8FB
Failed to get the girl I wanted! Am I cursed?
^^^^ 
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Back..... Last edited by fluidmoon : 02-28-05 at 06:32 PM. |
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02-21-05, 09:59 AM
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#2
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New to RV
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IP: 74E7 E00E
Nice structure man, I know poems don't have to rhyme but it's nice when they do and this one flows very nicely. Heartbreak can be an inspirational thing when it comes to writing...
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02-21-05, 03:00 PM
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#3
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Odi et Amo
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IP: AFB0 5C2F
I make mistakes I'm only human
I'm ready to start winning and give up losing Cuz she finally understands who's heart she's been bruising. ^Love your ending... Emotion was so raw and pure, am feeling what you're saying here and desire can be such a tricky thing. Like how the poem progressed, vocab was good and the structure was nice as well. Keep it up boy because I enjoy reading your poems, they're so real and easy to relate to. DQ
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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02-21-05, 07:36 PM
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#4
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Back....
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IP: 8365 0105
Thanx girl. I felt all yours too. Uppyn
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Back..... |
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02-25-05, 04:37 PM
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#5
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: A3EA 639E
the whole poem is good & touches ur heart u got this down pat 10/10 keep up the good writings
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02-26-05, 07:36 PM
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#6
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Back....
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IP: CE59 2B07
uppyn thys shyt..
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Back..... |
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02-27-05, 02:05 AM
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#7
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IP: 93C0 D1DD
Good Job, Long Poem This Time You Usualy Make Short Ones, This One Was Good Coz It Was Descritive And Had Alot Of Emotion In Here Which Was Good In This Case Man, Keep Em' Coming Son....9.5/10 |
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02-27-05, 09:48 PM
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#8
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So Much Dexterity
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IP: 5473 652E
This was koo man keep it up some day you'll get her.
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 i'm ill and no one has the cure
record:0-0 losses:0 wins:0 |
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02-28-05, 11:37 AM
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#9
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IP: D38E 499D
Start of the verse was elementary. Didn't draw me in. Got better later on, but it just isn't the material I would want to read more than once. Keep writing. Peace
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02-28-05, 05:16 PM
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#10
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Flyweight
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IP: 07D8 522B
Really nice job. I was feeling teh emotion here. I also like your structure too because it made everything flow together well and what not. This shit was deep man. Nice work on this poem.
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02-28-05, 05:30 PM
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#11
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 28AD 5545
nice poem, i liked how you worded it, your structure, and your feelings about this concept, it sucks when you dont get the girl, or in my case.. guy, but dont give up!!!.lol, keep dropping.1
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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02-28-05, 06:03 PM
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#12
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Back....
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IP: AD5D 6F2C
weerd but that don't mean I can't get her. uppyn...
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Back..... |
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03-04-05, 05:58 PM
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#13
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Back....
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IP: 4A33 B90E
hey where the fuck is the whole poem.
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Back..... |
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03-04-05, 07:35 PM
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#14
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...
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IP: CF4E 8780
i'd like to read it pm me when its back
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Â-balam balam i treat yall like cans of spam Free Time...  I Live the Lifestyle You Want to Live Secret Society/Cut Throat |
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03-04-05, 07:44 PM
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#15
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Back....
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IP: 4A33 B90E
right. Fluidmoon. Where is it.
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Back..... |
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