|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
04-05-07, 06:37 PM
|
#1
|
|||
|
Shadow Savior
IP: 283B 08F8
Shadow Savior
Written by, Luke Bloomquist  i am your shadow. shipwrecked soul, asphyxiated. a lack of water, while drowning deeper through the air. your candle lit aesthetics cast my shadow behind your back. i slither and drag behind you, cracking ribs, and smashing my face as i follow you, your every movement, like your very own shadow. you fuck with me, in a political way. plant my tears in soil, creating trees that you recycle, creating libraries of slavery. i am nothing but a shadow. a bohemian rhapsody plucking strings to the drum of heart beats, still mangling my skull as i drag behind you on a thin rope of flesh. morbid? not quite. i’ve made love to elohims, you’ve made a paycheck. i damned aztecs and got mother Mary pregnant while drunk off the pain of whip lashes and dry throats. you? you kill families. bomb mankind, because you think islam is inferior to the anglo-saxon america? hell nah kid, go back south. me? oh, i’ll be following. because I’m still just a shadow, and you’ll always be the inevitable savior. …damn this country |
|||
|
|
|
04-07-07, 04:21 PM
|
#2
|
||||
|
pain is weakness leaving the body
|
IP: 960E 56C5
wow... it's been a while since i was that passionate about anything... i like the pauses, and you planned the end of each stanza well, same topic, different aspect... not sure i completely follow tho, what did the 'drowning in the air' part mean in the beginning?
__________________
 "I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..." -Konchance my poetry: untitled |
||||
|
|
|
|
04-08-07, 12:19 PM
|
#3
|
|||||
|
don't try.
|
IP: 28AD 5545
I'm not much on poetry, but I decided to peep a read at one. N' this was pretty deep, I liked it man. keep it up, your vocab was good n it painted a picture, good meta's.. I think it means can't breathe.?^ answered your question, not sure though. anyway keep it up
__________________
Fear |
|||||
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
