first post...
 

just a little somethin' to sample the Thill_kill flow, I ain't never posted no of the top text so step back, this may blow...


comin' up like Litefoot straight out of the ok,
here on the range, where the deer and the tweakers play,
I ain't here to front and claim to be a gangster,
kinda like some others, only a little stranger,
my rhymes need work this I already know,
so don't give me too much shit, I warned before, this could blow
but still don't step to me thinkin' you're a real cool player,
bitch, I ain't just a hater, I'm a mutherfuckin' playa Slaya
I invoke fear make it come up like a flood,
so don't get in my face, or I'll make it rain blood
ok, so I can't quite pull that off yet,
but I'm just learnin' man, shit
don't take me too lite, people call me one of the damned,
like some old cypress hill, I could just kill a man
if the right reason was behind it I got no remorse,
I know where I'm headed after I become a corpse,
I know you're thinkin' HELL, but you caught it all wrong,
I follow God, just my drum plays a different song,
runnin' thru the woods is where I feel at home,
runnin' with the wolves with nothing else on,
they say I'm a little off, like I got a bad connection,
just cause in the mirror, I see no reflection.
just incase you kids wanna know,
two line rhyming ain't the only way I can go,
it's just seemed best for my intro to keep it slow,
don't call security, this one ain't to steal the show.
later on we'll see just what's up with my flow,
6-lines one rhyme, is that good for a transient hobo?
I know I just set myself up for a burn with "homo"
but send over your ho, and I'll show her just how low I'll go,
back at the hotel, or out here on the scene,
I use my tongue like lightning to make 'em scream
:laugh2:

Overall this is bomb from a rookie, you can rhyme no doubt, you got thought in your rhyme, no doubt. Now you gotta up the vocab, add some punches, spark off some metas, and get into that shit deep with your mind. Basically, if you're just startin' like I think you said you were, then you got a decent foundation, now add the complications that show true skill and not just intelligence and natural rhyming abilities. Holla atcha' boy ~1~

thanks for the advice, I'll take it to heart,
I"m here to take on the world, this is just to start
trying to show where I'm from with out naming off a trailer park,
hate that damn movie except the battle and beatdown part,
wish I coulda been an extra in the flick that inspired 1000 wannabes
but if I ever meet Em I'm breakin' both his knees,
I know, a shady diss is a bitch way to go,
it's not my fault he makes it so easy though,
gotta get some sleep, but I'm comin back to elaborate,
and once again thx. for the props, maybe someone else will evaluate

yo i'll evaluate that for one...that's really creative man....


I thought ur original peice was good for a rookie...and u definately have rhyming skills...but like the other guy said just add some complicated stuff in there and u'll be on ur way son...

btw return the favour...here:

heat of the moment- me

uppppppiiiiinnnnn for feed

upppin' before I jet

alright, thrill_kill back up in this bitch,.... I was gonna become a regular but got distracted by life, so for now I'm just gonna up this and see what happens NOW