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"Losing the Battle"
...What The Fuck Is Wrong With Me...? ...I Musta Did Something Wrong... ...Fuck...Fuck...Fuck...Fuck.... ...Everything Was Perfect... ...But It Really Wasn't At All... The rain...the pain.........the splashing at my feet... A car drives by me........engine echoing my defeat... I stare down at my shoes.......my feet are soaked... The truth was so cloaked........give up my only hope... My hand in my pocket...........my other wipes the tears... Paranoia did drive me........now I have realized my fears... Through all of the years...I thought my pain had ceased... No...I was fuckin' teased...Brought up, shot down, decieved... This has to be a dream...some nightmare from dark depths... Blinded by false happiness...true escape is just so far, yet.... I tell her not to blame it on herself...but who is it placed on..? With the joyful wave gone...I realize this is the exact same song... The same shit that happened...Just before I went through this... Promised myself not to get serious again......boy was I stupid... I love her so much...but I always found myself at some defense... I do love her...In the same breath I fuckin' hate her in a sense... She asks me if "we" could be again...I don't know the answer... The rage....the pain...the uncertiany burns me like a cancer... Because I know deep inside...I could never take her again... I shoulda realized this weeks ago...It shoulda came to an end... The rain hits my shoulders...another car splashes me with water... I thought I won the battle.........until the war got so much harder.... |
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Because I know deep inside...I could never take her again...
I shoulda realized this weeks ago...It shoulda came to an end... The rain hits my shoulders...another car splashes me with water... I thought I won the battle.........until the war got so much harder... nice way to end it, thought these lines were the ones that flowed the best/really brought out what you were saying......you had an okay verse, you know, coulda had a better, steady flow, some places i thought you used too much commas and it slowed down the pace a little, but whatever, it was good overall....some lines i thought coulda been worded better, but i thought for the most part you had a really good handle on your vocab, kept it nice and even throught your piece, which is good.......good imagery, really brought up a picture....emotion was decent, and again, i thought those last two bars really topped this piece of nicely, even the 3rd last bar.....keep up man |
DEEP SHIT. this was a dope drop, nice vocab good flow and im feeling how you made the cars engine echoing and repeated at the end. Good drop keep it up fam.
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This was emotional you should make this a track..anyways..you came out strong.....man you had a good twist in it..nice shit
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I'm Really feeling this drop man..flow was on point, vocab was just right, complexity was there, so was the emotion..i can keep going on things u did right...great work..
return the favor Pz. |
Damn LE...you never seem to fail at OM's
You had lots of emotions.. Lots of feeling... Your structure was good ... wordplay was okay... Overall keep it up LE... you are very good at Om's and showing your feelings and emotions in written ...keep it up and i hope to see another OM' from you ..8.5/10 |
A'ight thanks all...uppin' this shit for some more feed...
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Uppin' for some more feedback...favors will be returned...
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Limited Edition = The Truth..
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Quote:
I am guessing this is a good thing...haha...dopeness... |
A Great Thing.. I Love Reading Real Shit Like This.. The Descriptions Were Standout.. Your Flow IS Unique.. And They Whole Delivery On this Piece Is Not To Be Fucked with.. Def. A Good Piece..
Like I Said.. LE=Truth.. |
Uppin' for some more feed....favors returned...
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