stanza vs Nelson Mandela
 

Battle Rules:

10-15 Lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

THE TOPIC IS: FINAL RUN



Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 04-13-05 at 11:54 PM

Must drop verse in 1500 minutes after check in.

Nelson Mandela has ACCEPTED this battle on 04-13-05 11:25 PM.

Stanza has ACCEPTED this battle on 04-13-05 11:33 PM.

Final Run:
*Slave: We have to do something brothers im tired of...*

Generations of hurt faces, painfully patient, jus waiting
for eyes of hatred to realize slaves are mistaken
tried escaping, but the death toll remains steadily updatin
*This is it our final run, rise with thy heart not thy fist*
one last chance at freedom spoken with words of truthful meaning
our final run even those whose life is yet to begun.soul leakin,still leading
holdin, the torch to light the way for those even blinded by greed
even though working on plants doesnt give us food for the mouths we feed
last shot to cease the deadly risk we take to survive this state of time
our state of mind is set abroad the faithful shine from eyes
of the honestly forgiving, unsinningly fufilling this final rise
mistreated,beated abused and left bleedin,die from feeling
souls risin through the ceiling,screamin 4 emotional healing

*Holds the torch high to lead the way for the next generation*

This was feedback posted for Nelson Mandela
 

Beautiful piece, your approach of the topic was so powerful and strong. You found an excellent balance in your vocab, not too basic and yet not too complex. The imagery was amazing, you managed to paint a great picture of the situation. The emotion was so pure, so raw. Flow was coo as well as structure. I just like how you worded everything, you have a very nice writing style. One of my favo lines was this: "*This is it our final run, rise with thy heart not thy fist*"

Great piece!

Voted For: Nelson Mandela

Emotion- Coo man i felt the Emotion in this verse, str8 up good.

Vocab-Upp your vocab man, so it'll make you verse decent.

Imaginary- YOU had a hella good imaginary my friend keep that up

Concept- I think you should've approach the topic more different, not ZOOM into the story that quick.

But this a good drop, good flow, with good imaginary. Upp your vocab and your emotion A little. But i think you got this battle. G-luck on the polls

Vote removed

Ahhhhhhh that should be a feedback my fault..........................I'll pm strobe

iight iight get it removed and dont do it again or i will send you to america again....lmao.....anywayz UPPPIN THIS MUH FUCKIN BATTLE YALL

Yeah Get that Shit removed ...................... Thanx

Uppin

uppin uppin uppin uppin...........................

Damn No replies for me?

I must be wack ass hell :(

Damn

uppin dis battle fuckers..........................

upupupupupupupupupupupuppupupupupupupupupupupupupu pupup

Voted For: Stanza

stanza

Im at the end and yet still I see no signs of victory within
Maybe it is Defeat that is waiting for me At The end
^^IGHT OPENER
This is it I can barely go on like this struggle & gasping for air
I dont see my completion or my place rest...but yet its there
^^NICE LINE
if its not in the past & not in the future how is it present?
These question got me pondering and answers im guessing
^^DECENT
Hold off on the delays I can Finaly See my mark of Prize
My place of strength and my place of rest but yet... Surprise
^^IIGHT
I Open my eyes only to see the harsh and cruel real vision
I was headed in the wrong direction my senses were missin
^^LIKE IT
This was a time of prayer so I feel down on my bending Knee
And I began to Beg the God above for his merciful Peace
^^GOOD LINE
Then The Sky was Broken and I seen My ending Place
My Final run Was over Thanx to God's Wonderful Grace
^^PRETTY GOOD CLOSURE

STANZA- I LIKED MOST OF UR VERSE. THERE WAS ALOT OF TOUGHTFUL VOCAB INVOLVED AND I LIKED THAT. THE STRUCTURE WAS NICE AND EASY TO READ. JUS NEED TA ELEVATE A LIL BIT MO HOMIE N U GON B STR8 8.5/10

NELSON MANDELA

Generations of hurt faces, painfully patient, jus waiting
for eyes of hatred to realize slaves are mistaken
tried escaping, but the death toll remains steadily updatin
^^VERY GOOD OPENER

*This is it our final run, rise with thy heart not thy fist*

one last chance at freedom spoken with words of truthful meaning
our final run even those whose life is yet to begun.soul leakin,still leading
^^O.K
holdin, the torch to light the way for those even blinded by greed
even though working on plants doesnt give us food for the mouths we feed
^^DECENT LINE
last shot to cease the deadly risk we take to survive this state of time
our state of mind is set abroad the faithful shine from eyes
of the honestly forgiving, unsinningly fufilling this final rise
^^NICE LINE REALY LIKIN IT
mistreated,beated abused and left bleedin,die from feeling
souls risin through the ceiling,screamin 4 emotional healing
^^AVERAGE CLOSURE

NELSON MANDELA- I LIKED UR VERSE AS WELL. THIS WUZ A VERY CLOSE BATTLE B/W BOF OF U, I LIKED UR LYRICAL DICTION AND THOUGHTFUL LINES. UR STRUCTURE WUZ NICE AND EASY 2 READ. U R REAL GOOD AT TOPICALS BUT I THINK HE HAD U BEAT
NO HATE AT AL B/C U R REAL GOOD.
8/10
VERY VERY VERY CLOSE BATTLE BUT MY V GOES 2 STANZA
V/STANZA

CUD U PLEASE RTF IN DA BATTLE IN MY SIG W/AN HONEST VOTE
THANX!