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Floating Souls
Locked up inside this infernal region,fading memories of past
Sufficating due to claustrophobic contrast,lost souls amassed Strived all my life for acceptance into the world of deceased Mind was twirled by the fables about Hades,as if it's a feast Eternal rest found at Elysian Field,my fate irrevocably sealed Remember my traverse of the River Styx,eyes continously peeled Terrifying Traverse Led by Charon through water as black as oil and silent as death Awaited confrontation with horrifying Cerberus similar to Seth Distant wailing sent shiver down my spine,confidence undermined Wise words of my father in mind but envied entire living mankind For not having to undergo this struggle or to bid a last farewell Many tried but only a pure soul could combat acid agonies of Hell Safely reached the shore where I stood eye in eye with the creature Had a dragon as a tail but viciousness was most remarkable feature Another obstacle I overcame,fearless strength donated by the gods So I finally arrived at point of no return,difficult by all odds Heart filled with proud and relief as I gazed upon the bumpy road I travelled,endless peace for this fighter's soul at last bestowed Elysian Eternity Attempt to escape this dull existence through the old heroic tales But the evanescence can't be stopped,slowly washing away all details Many have a foolish yen for eternity,always dreaming of immortality Wish I had ignored that yearning for now I've lost my personality I'm nothing more than another lost soul in this realm of the dark Entered the temple of the departed forever,no possibility to embark So I sit here,reminiscing of the adventerous times,the battles I've won Remained invincible until my confrontation with Hades left me outdone Links: Overdose - In-Vision The Tables Turned - Pen'N'Paper |
This is a very outstanding piece very visual words used in this alot of strong vocab usage the content of the piece was remained in a strong topic that was very useful and stayed on topic very good structure was good but the best line i liked from this piece i was like sayin wooohhh like vey deep
"Attempt to escape this dull existence through the old heroic tales But the evanescence can't be stopped,slowly washing away all details" that was a good line keep doin ur thing this piece was very good this deserves to be in THOF this was an outstanding piece alot was perfectionist words used and everythin was like Woah! i like this alot cant wait to see another topic like this one i enjoyed reaidng this piece. |
^Thank you, feed is much appreciated and I like the fact that you enjoyed my piece :)
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yeah..this was hot..
from the start to finish..this was nice..8.5/10 nice to see other females in here doing they thing.. |
^Thanks for feed gurl
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Ahhhhh I like this piece...It was the out-view. I liked your imaginary, the visual words between your lines was good. The weakest aspect from your verse was the emotion. The best aspect from your verse was The Imaginary, i say you upp your emotion and put some decent meta'z..But overall= Decent...1
Return a favor by leaving a feedback in my newest OM "Stranded in the middle of the ocean"...Chea |
^Lolz, aight thanks for feed
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*bounces in*
Bumps the thread all the way to the top *bounces out* |
little too complex right here but I liked it still. I still try my best to understand. I read it three times. like the others said. add some more emotion... ask me for some help. :D
imagery was way off. playing it was good... I don't look at that part though. good job DQ and please RTF on my song feelings. |
^Get at me on msn and I'll explain it to you rofl...
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