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-   -   Angelic Beauty (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=198275)

DQ 07-05-05 06:42 AM

Angelic Beauty
 
Angelic Beauty


Wandering around for million days in this obscure, vague maze
Such cruel part fate plays, leading me through a lost life phase
Despite the dim dark I still embarked on sole treacherous travel
No sign of a single spark, seeking my way over unstable gravel
I rise yet only to fall down and crawl on the cold, grimy ground
My soul in the lost and found while I hound an angel all around
Suddenly luminous light comes nearer, faintly reflectin in mirror
Idle image turns clearer, filled with fright…no reason to fear her
Pale face starin at me with such overwhelming style and grace
Cravin for her soft embrace as everything slowly falls into place
Empty grayish eyes, blond locks that float as she gently walks
Beneath thick shell, fiery temper as fox but she no longer talks
Frozen fragile lips covered with icy crystals as a protection foil
Too much divine beauty to spoil but mirror shattered on the soil
Laying wounded and scarred in midst of thousand glass pieces
Earthly substance cannot handle how your perfection increases
Fingers seeking around me, longing to touch a beauty one time
Of an angel at her prime but I fell hard before I could even climb
Hopelessly reachin for heavenly child of Venus, goddess of love
View when she smiled deep in my mind, always an angel above



http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=197725

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=195552

.Judicial. 07-06-05 11:33 AM

Wandering around for million days in this obscure, vague maze
Such cruel part fate plays, leading me through a lost life phase

^^^Was my favorite bar...i love multies...but overall this was worth reading....flowed with perfection...vocab was there everything....stayed on topic i could picture in my mind what i was reading and you know its good when u can do that....keep doin ya thang

DQ 07-06-05 11:35 AM

Thanks for feed :)

Artik Phrost 07-06-05 12:49 PM

OMG, becky......yur so deep.....lol

this was dope....vocab killen mine....yu know im hooked on phonix....lol
sick imagery, which is something i love(shh dont tell nobody)...flow was good....

Quote:
Wandering around for million days in this obscure, vague maze
Such cruel part fate plays, leading me through a lost life phase
Despite the dim dark I still embarked on sole treacherous travel
No sign of a single spark, seeking my way over unstable gravel

^yeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh....(thats all i need to say)

damn, ma....you should get paid for this.....yu ever posted at poetry dot com?....im sure people wud love what yu write...im kinda jealous....lol....keep hold to ya pen

DQ 07-06-05 05:12 PM

^Lmao, you all hyper again but thanks girl ;)

DQ 07-07-05 12:28 PM

Upping this shizzle...

Artik Phrost 07-07-05 12:35 PM

*turns into Drama's conscience*....gooooo reeeeaaddd artik's OM colllaaaabbb....SHOWCASE..........

BiZzO 07-08-05 09:37 AM

this peice was absolutley brilliant, i cant belive people sleepin on this, that verse was as close to perfection as u can get, flowed brilliantly, vocabulary was perfect, structure was great, multies was off da hook, this peice was just plain great, one of the best reads ive had.. uppin this peice for DQ... dont sleep!

was realli a beautiful peice.

Dervla 07-08-05 10:15 AM

Nice. I like the Imagery. The vocab is balaned in this piece, and you used metaphors which increased your imagery to the fullest. I liked the emotion. You got good flow, with them multi'z. I say the Best aspect in your verse was the imagery. Keep it up, keep dropping.


Leave a feedback on my newest om "War Cries"

Kawn Flixx 07-08-05 10:58 AM

This was a great drop...you had alot of imagery...nice wordplay and vocab..which made your verse very good to read...structure was on point..everything was well balanced...metaphors were very good ... Your emotions..and feeling were on point.. really created a more vivid thought in the readers head...Overall keep it up

Christianite 07-08-05 11:23 AM

this was a good drop, everything in it was great, very good read from top to bottom, keep it up

DQ 07-08-05 12:00 PM

Thanks for feed y'all, drop links so I can RTF!

DQ 07-09-05 05:19 AM

Upping this for a little more feed... :)

Lady Razor 07-09-05 06:01 AM

luvvin this 100%,u got bare talent an im new so i aint eva read ur stuf b4 but u r one heavvvy femcee,ur vocab is tops an this is really jus totali choong. Wel done,i rate this over 10 outa 10. nuff luv XxXX

DQ 07-09-05 06:37 AM

^Thanks and it's good to see more European cats on RV...holla lady...


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