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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
07-05-05, 06:42 AM
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#1
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Odi et Amo
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Angelic Beauty
IP: 3E90 5A6B
Angelic Beauty
Wandering around for million days in this obscure, vague maze Such cruel part fate plays, leading me through a lost life phase Despite the dim dark I still embarked on sole treacherous travel No sign of a single spark, seeking my way over unstable gravel I rise yet only to fall down and crawl on the cold, grimy ground My soul in the lost and found while I hound an angel all around Suddenly luminous light comes nearer, faintly reflectin in mirror Idle image turns clearer, filled with fright…no reason to fear her Pale face starin at me with such overwhelming style and grace Cravin for her soft embrace as everything slowly falls into place Empty grayish eyes, blond locks that float as she gently walks Beneath thick shell, fiery temper as fox but she no longer talks Frozen fragile lips covered with icy crystals as a protection foil Too much divine beauty to spoil but mirror shattered on the soil Laying wounded and scarred in midst of thousand glass pieces Earthly substance cannot handle how your perfection increases Fingers seeking around me, longing to touch a beauty one time Of an angel at her prime but I fell hard before I could even climb Hopelessly reachin for heavenly child of Venus, goddess of love View when she smiled deep in my mind, always an angel above http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=197725 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=195552
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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07-06-05, 11:33 AM
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#2
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My Dick Stay Wet
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IP: 0825 899A
Wandering around for million days in this obscure, vague maze
Such cruel part fate plays, leading me through a lost life phase ^^^Was my favorite bar...i love multies...but overall this was worth reading....flowed with perfection...vocab was there everything....stayed on topic i could picture in my mind what i was reading and you know its good when u can do that....keep doin ya thang |
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07-06-05, 11:35 AM
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#3
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 8872 787D
Thanks for feed
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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07-06-05, 12:49 PM
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#4
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+...Femin-iLL...+
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IP: 6E69 7B24
OMG, becky......yur so deep.....lol
this was dope....vocab killen mine....yu know im hooked on phonix....lol sick imagery, which is something i love(shh dont tell nobody)...flow was good.... Quote:
^yeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh....(thats all i need to say) damn, ma....you should get paid for this.....yu ever posted at poetry dot com?....im sure people wud love what yu write...im kinda jealous....lol....keep hold to ya pen
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..:: Artik In The Phlesh::.. .Re-Writing The Re-Run.  |
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07-06-05, 05:12 PM
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#5
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 8872 787D
^Lmao, you all hyper again but thanks girl
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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07-07-05, 12:28 PM
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#6
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Odi et Amo
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IP: C966 3CBF
Upping this shizzle...
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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07-07-05, 12:35 PM
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#7
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+...Femin-iLL...+
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IP: 6E69 7B24
*turns into Drama's conscience*....gooooo reeeeaaddd artik's OM colllaaaabbb....SHOWCASE..........
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..:: Artik In The Phlesh::.. .Re-Writing The Re-Run. |
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07-08-05, 09:37 AM
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#8
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Ka.Nek.ShuN
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IP: 7F23 8EDF
this peice was absolutley brilliant, i cant belive people sleepin on this, that verse was as close to perfection as u can get, flowed brilliantly, vocabulary was perfect, structure was great, multies was off da hook, this peice was just plain great, one of the best reads ive had.. uppin this peice for DQ... dont sleep!
was realli a beautiful peice.
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.::BattleZ::. |
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07-08-05, 10:15 AM
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#9
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Poet's Daughter.
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IP: E71D BCB5
Nice. I like the Imagery. The vocab is balaned in this piece, and you used metaphors which increased your imagery to the fullest. I liked the emotion. You got good flow, with them multi'z. I say the Best aspect in your verse was the imagery. Keep it up, keep dropping.
Leave a feedback on my newest om "War Cries"
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
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07-08-05, 10:58 AM
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#10
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IP: 0AE0 3B1A
This was a great drop...you had alot of imagery...nice wordplay and vocab..which made your verse very good to read...structure was on point..everything was well balanced...metaphors were very good ... Your emotions..and feeling were on point.. really created a more vivid thought in the readers head...Overall keep it up
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The Competition
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07-08-05, 11:23 AM
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#11
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Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
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IP: 1B41 B0B1
this was a good drop, everything in it was great, very good read from top to bottom, keep it up
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 i come from a time when you earned respect, for your rhyme and the way you made words connect, not the money that you made or the girls you sexed, a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet Mars Ill
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07-08-05, 12:00 PM
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#12
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 55DA 11D0
Thanks for feed y'all, drop links so I can RTF!
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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07-09-05, 05:19 AM
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#13
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Odi et Amo
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IP: C9A2 1C80
Upping this for a little more feed...
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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07-09-05, 06:01 AM
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#14
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New to RV
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IP: 3831 85DD
luvvin this 100%,u got bare talent an im new so i aint eva read ur stuf b4 but u r one heavvvy femcee,ur vocab is tops an this is really jus totali choong. Wel done,i rate this over 10 outa 10. nuff luv XxXX
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Reppin tha Uk!!! YAY WE'RE GANGSTA CUZ WE'RE BRITISH!!!LUVIN SHAY,SARENA,SPUL,BEN,JESS AN TEKKY! EVN IF U AINT BRIT SPUL U A YANK IN A MILLION MATE! WE GANGSTA INIIT!!   g'd up :gunner:   ********sarena is my big sis ,WE R ALL BRIT HO'S DONT FUCK WIV US*********lmao 2 tha haterz....fuck u!!!! |
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07-09-05, 06:37 AM
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#15
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Odi et Amo
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IP: C9A2 1C80
^Thanks and it's good to see more European cats on RV...holla lady...
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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